Review: Catherine

Played on PS3

The gamer anxiously awaited Catherine and then had a really hard time finding it, but he did prevail! Being from some of the people who worked on the Persona games, I was really excited about this game too. And let me just say, the decision-making storyline did not disappoint! Like the Persona games and those choose-your-own-adventure Goosebumps books, you play as the main character and make important decisions that affect the game play and decide which of the eight possible endings you will get.

You are Vincent, a regular guy with a regular life. Vincent is dating Katherine. (Pay attention to spelling, it makes all the difference!) Vincent is happy with his life, but his girlfriend is starting to drop the M-word: Marriage. (Dun dun dunnnnnnnn.) Vincent starts to freak out and looks to his buddies at the Stray Sheep (the bar) for help. Well, after a night of a few too many, Vincent wakes up with Catherine. (Notice the C.) Apparently he has a thing for Katherines/Catherines. Vincent doesn't remember meeting Catherine and is really freaked out about this encounter. Here's where your/his choices really start to change things... and I'll leave the rest up to you.

But wait! That's only the part of the game that takes place during the day! At night, Vincent is having these really strange dreams. He has to climb these towers of blocks and make it to the top before he wakes up. Remember that story you probably told your friends in middle school about how you die in real life if you die in your dreams? Well, that seems to be the case. Vincent doesn't know who or what has chosen him for these "trials" but each night Vincent, and other men, are faced with a series of towers to climb.

Got it? Maybe? Well, I promise I won't spoil anything.

Visuals: This game was really interesting. Most of the action of the game is very typical somewhat realistic video game graphics. However, for many of the cut scenes the animation is a mix of typical video game and drawing. The characters, particularly their faces, are often drawn in a typical animation style. Think American cartoons, not anime. The animation is maybe a little bit more stylistic in a Japanese watercolor/line drawing manner, but definitely not what you usually see in video games. This was a little odd to me, but once I really got into the game, I hardly noticed.

One thing to look for is the tie-ins to the other games from these creators. There's a Teddy and a Gekkoukan High School logo in the game. There are also a lot of really neat small details through out the game.

Audio: The soundtrack for this game is somewhat understated. The musical style is very similar to the Persona series and to many anime shows. It provides a good setting for the game without being too overpowering for a game that is so strong in its story. One thing I will mention about the audio is that the bells can get to be really annoying. When Vincent is climbing the towers in the nightmares, a bell begins to sound as he gets closer to the top. This is really encouraging as you play as its a sign that your almost there, but when you have to replay the last five levels of the tower because you just can't figure it out and all you hear is that bell going bong bong bong every few seconds, it gets to be a bit annoying.

Involvement: This game provides a huge opportunity for the non-gaming girlfriend to get involved. During the daytime story, you can help your guy to make decisions regarding how he's going to respond to text messages and conversations. Which, he might need. However, the nighttime tower levels are an even better chance to get involved. The tower puzzles are hard, and I mean hard. Having an extra set of eyes to think through which block to move where can be incredibly helpful. Just remember, as in games like Portal, know your gamer. Some gamers don't do too well with their girlfriend solving puzzles for them, while others love getting the extra boost.

Overall: This game was really pretty awesome. The story was great and kept me guessing how it would end. The game is really well developed and has great depth. There are excellent opportunities to get involved and the game is really engaging.

One thing I will mention, the whole concept of the cheating boyfriend might anger some girlfriends/wives. I found myself calling Catherine a little hussy a few times, maybe even more than a few. I also kept thinking that I'm really glad my gamer doesn't have friends like Vincent's. Just a little advice to remember that it's just a game and Catherine isn't real and therefore isn't a little hussy home-wrecker.

Overall though, this game was really awesome and we had a lot of fun playing it through. I would say that it easily passes the wifey-watchability test (but should not even be introduced to a child-watching test).

Afternoon Quickie: Castlevania Harmony of Despair

Played on: XBox 360

The Gamer is a huge fan of this series, even collects and sometimes plays the older games. Therefore, he was very much looking forward to this release. You can play on your own or in teams online. He seems to favor the online play. So, let me explain a little more here. In online play, your team captain (I don't know what they call it, but that's what it is) chooses which Chapter of the story (level) you want to play. You all then fight through the level and beat the boss gaining equipment as you go. The game has multiple characters and each character has their own stuff you can get for them. I don't really know much about the characters other than one's name is Soma and it makes me think of A Brave New World each time I heard it and then the soma poem gets stuck in my head. But, anywho...

So, let's start with what I like about the game. First, it has Dracula in it. I'm a fan of Dracula and find that to be pretty cool. Second, the music has a gothic rock opera sound which I very much like and greatly appreciate for its departure from the norm. Here's what I don't like. I have seen the level where you fight Dracula (Chapter 6, I believe) about 1,337 times. While the music is still pretty awesome and Dracula still scores some cool points, I just don't get how playing the same level over and over again can be entertaining.

Now, before you gamers get all upset, and before you girlfriends start dreading this game, here is a valuable tool. My gamer has this great headset, which I'm pretty sure I've mentioned before. Not only does it allow him to hear and speak with other players, but it also carries all the sounds from the game straight to his headset. This allows him to mute the TV and play the game through his headset. I can then play some music or watch something on my laptop without hearing Dracula's two corny lines every ten minutes. He gets to be happy playing with his friends and getting all the gear and what not and I get to listen to some old school 1960's Jazz.  Here's a link to said headset:


[P.S.- If you are a high enough level geek-wife to find the hidden joke, you get a brownie point.]

Afternoon Quickie: Red Dead Redemption

XBox 260 and PS3

So, I really haven't watched much of this game, but I think I get the gist of it. You are some sort of cowboy type character. You run around and do missions and kill people. I assume there exists an overarching plot line, but I'm not aware of it.

Here's what stands out to me. It's a little like an old style western. Quite dramatic but rather rugged. It looks rather cool as far as the graphics go, but it's just not all that pretty to watch. As far as game play goes there are gunfights and whatnot that are common to games like this, but you get to watch the character ride a horse all over the place and that's pretty neat. Probably the worst thing I noticed in the game was the skinning of dead animals. You don't just skin the animal to sell the pelt, the game shows the corpse of the animal all fleshy and skinless and that's just plain nasty.

So, does it pass the Wifey Watchability Test? Eh, I guess so. It's a little gross, and it's a bit boring, but really nothing special to report from me.

Afternoon Quickie: Alan Wake

Ok so it's not the afternoon, we thought that this supposedly spooky game would be better suited for later evening. Yeah... maybe I should have tried at like 3 am and being completely sleep deprived.... Yeah so... have you ever seen the Blair Witch Project? How about Secret Window? Combine the two, add in some Energizer batteries and you have yourself a video game! It's really quite sad that the story is so sucky, cuz it looks like a pretty well designed game. I could read the Sync by Microsoft perfectly while they were driving in the car! So anywho... Gamer has been playing this game for about an hour and I'm going to go do laundry.


Did it pass the Wifey Watchability Test? It didn't even wake up in time for the exam.

Late night ramblings...

Ok so, my wonderful husband brought home a very perplexing game the other day, Bayonetta. In this game you are this witch type person and you're fighting the angels or whatever. Here's my description of Bayonetta: eleven feet tall, 87 pounds, boobs the size of prize-winning watermelons, 10 inch heels and black cat suit. Now, if you're thinking to yourself, "What makes her any different from any other woman in a video game?" I'd say very, very little.

Women in video games really kinda tick me off. Now this isn't because of some deep-seeded feminism or jealousy issue. Rather, they bug me because there is no possible way these girls could live, let alone kick ass. These girls are so skinny they don't even have room for a uterus and their breasts are so large that they need their own time zone! I mean for goodness sakes the computer that animates their movements must be freaking out! DOES NOT COMPUTE... BOOBS TOO BIG... CANNOT MAKE WALK... DOES NOT COMPUTE!

Ok, so, I digress... What makes Bayonetta different from every other big boobed booty-kicker? She freaking rocks! Ok so, the angels cut off her clothes in like the first 5 minutes (yippee for pseudo-porn in video games) but then her hair turns into a catsuit! Her glasses have butterfly wings and when she does a double jump she sprout butterfly wings! How cute it that! To top it all off... she shoots her guns with her heels. That right there is a skill that all little girls can admire!

I guess what I'm saying is that video games rarely depict any female under the age of 90 in a realistic manner, but Bayonetta is just so damn awesome that I don't care anymore.

Oh the gameplay, right... um, well... I was distracted by the awesomeness that is Bayonetta. Sorry.

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So, I thought I was ready to go to bed after that, posted it, brushed my teeth, kissed the husband goodnight, and realized, that's not all.

Bayonetta, she's freaking awesome. But she's only one girl out of the entire video game world! And don't even get me started on Anime! I think they go even farther simply because they can draw it be hand and don't have to worry about computers blowing up trying to calculate a bra strong enough to support those triple Z's!

For example, in Bleach you have this chic, Rangiku Matsumoto. Her breasts are the size of hogs that feed an entire African village for a year! And if you've ever seen the show, there's nothing to support those puppies! (Great Dane puppies). Once again, she's got another itty bitty waist. How her back doesn't break in half, I will never know!

I remember being a kid and people all over the world were getting all in an uproar because Barbie wasn't realistically proportional. These video game and anime women must be straight out of Picasso! They don't have Sir Mix A Lot's 34-26-32 ratio, they have some sort of gamer boy's wet dream over 9000-2-5500 ratio.

Maybe it's just the industry. Maybe it doesn't matter. I'm not one of those video games make kids violent types, so does it even matter what the women look like? Like I said before, I don't really think it's objectifying women, God of War does plenty of that. I just don't like it. There is just something wrong with these gigantic breasts, specially when they jiggle for hours on end. For example, miss what's-her-face from Bleach. There was a fighting game for the Wii that was basically Street Fighter but with Bleach characters. When she fought, her boobs jiggled for another ten minutes after she stopped moving! Seriously, her boobs didn't stop jiggling until after the game switched to another screen. I'm not even sure if they ever stopped jiggling... God that would hurt!

Well, I mentioned God of War. I guess I should explain that. So, in the first God of War at some point you get rewarded with trophy wenches. And yes, you have sex with them, in the game, with audio. Now, in true video-game-pseudo-porn style, you don't see any activity, but you see the vase on the night stand shake like an earthquake just hit and you hear everything, EVERYTHING! It's like when your college roommate's boyfriend got back from football camp. It totally gave me the creeps!

Ok, not that is one thing that I can truly say I don't like about video games and my little inner feminist gets all riled up over this. Why must there be so much sexuality in video games? I just don't get it! Your testosterone is already through the roof from slaughtering thousands, what do you need naked women for? Maybe this is why so many gamers aren't getting out of their mom's basement. They don't even need to look for a date, they can get laid in the game!

I feel like an old Catholic school teacher saying that, but I mean, come on! Get out of the house, meet a nice girl in the comic shop (they show up occasionally, I promise). Take her out to dinner and a movie. Offer her your jacket when she's cold and maybe she just might be desperate enough.

Ok, now I understand most gamers aren't living in their mother's basement (the internet connection just isn't reliable enough) and most of you reading this have gamers who are in good committed relationships and at least have the potential of seeing a woman in the flesh once in their lifetime. Here's the thing, sexuality in video games it's a double edged sword. I started off talking about how much I love Bayonetta (and I do, she freaking rocks my pantyhose off!) but now I'm ranting about the obscene amount of sexuality that has flooded the video game world.

The truth is, I still love Bayonetta and my husband still plays God of War (he just doesn't subject me to the weird trophy wrench scene) and I don't have a problem with it. Yeah, it's easy to get all enraged over sexuality in video games, and yes, those girls need emergency breast reduction surgery, but the sexuality makes some games more entertaining. I would rather watch a game that's a bit juicy than watch a game that bores me to tears.

You know, I'm not really sure what my point is, and in fact, I don't think I have one. I think I have officially rambled. Perhaps now I can get some sleep (that 8 am class will be here sooner than Rangiku's bra).

Flashback: Mass Effect 1

Played on XBox 360

So, in this game you are some sort of dignitary mercenary combo. You go around to other planets and you do missions and kill things and meet with aliens. Your spaceship is piloted by "Joker" (aka Seth Green, I still have a bit of a thing for him left over from all those years of watching Buffy, but anywho...). There are some cool cut scenes where you get to see new aliens or learn something cool about the other species. The graphics are decent considering that it is an XBox game. There really isn't much of a soundtrack, but the fight scenes aren't loud or annoying enough to bring about any sort of strong emotion. Actually, I guess I could say that about the entire game so far... It's nice enough but the strongest emotion I have concerning it is that Seth Green made one good-looking werewolf (take that Twilight fans!)

Afternoon Quickie: Army of Two The 40th Day

Played on: XBox 360

Ok so... you and a friend are mercenaries and you go around town shooting at people. You get to customize your weapons and wear weird masks and it's basically the same as every other game that's come out in that last so many years. You do have to make moral choices along the way, like will you kill your comrade on orders and what not, but that only takes a few seconds. I'm sure there's a story-line somewhere in there. The dialogue is basically the equivalent of a video game soap opera, you know exactly what's coming and the acting sucks.

So, does it pass the Wifey Watchability Test? Well, I can't really tell the difference between this and 30 other games, so I might not enjoy watching it, but I won't know if I'm watching Army of Two or one of the many other games that are exactly like it.

Afternoon Quickie: Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2

So, yeah... I'd love to write this great, insightful review, but I don't know what the heck is going on!

Um... you shoot stuff and people, and people shoot at you. Try to shoot them first. There's lots of yelling and gunfire. The color scheme doesn't stray from the colors of camo.

There's a lot of online play, gamers like that in a game, but I can't watch it. Maybe I need a few more weeks of basic training... maybe even a few months.

Article: Top Ten Starter Games

The Top Ten Starter Games:

The Gamer Girlfriend's top games for the girlfriend who wants to start playing...

10. Virtual Villagers (PC) tied with Endless Ocean (Wii)

9. Professor Layton and the Curious Village (DS)

8. Wii Play/Sports/Sports Resort (Wii)

7. My Sims (Wii and DS)

6. Guitar Hero/ Rock Band (PS3, XBox 360, Wii, DS)

5. Mario Kart (Wii)

4. Mario Party (Wii and DS)

3. Spore (PC)

2. My Life as a King (Wii Downloadable)

1. Persona 3 (PS2)

Gamer Speak: Game Systems

This article is a brief overview of the six current major game systems. The information provided is based on fact, but is indeed my opinion. I don't know much about all the technical workings of the machinery. What I do know is that I have seen games played on each of these systems, and sometimes I have seen the same game played on different systems. With the exception of the PSP and XBox 260, I have played games on the other four systems.

This isn't meant to be the end all be all of system reviews. Like all Gamer Speak articles, this is intended to give a little bit of insight into the world of the gamer. Hopefully, this helps some non-gamers out there to understand these systems a little bit better.

The six major game systems right now are the Wii, the Playstation 3, the XBox 360, the DS/DSi, the Playstation Portable, and Personal Computers.

Wii:

Created by Nintendo and originally released in 2006

My favorite Wii game: Mario Party

My Gamer's favorite game: Wii Sports Resort

Pros:

The Wii has a host of family-friendly and casual games. The system can also play Gamecube games and you can download several older Nintendo games for the virtual console. The Wii also excels in the new craze of fitness games. Nintendo's reputation for being easy to use right of the box is still seen with the Wii. The unique control system allows for people of all ages and skill levels to be able to play, and they offer a classic style controller for playing the virtual console games.

Cons:

The Wii has mostly casual games, therefore the serious gamer may have difficultly finding games that would interest them. You will need to find an appropriate place for the Sensor Bar and the controls do take some getting used to at first. Also, there have been several instances of people letting go of the Wii-mote and it flying into their television and causing damage. Also, the Wii can only play games. It cannot double as a cd, dvd, or blu-ray player.

Playstation 3 (PS3):

Created by Sony, originally released in 2006.

My favorite game: inFAMOUS

My Gamer's favorite: Metal Gear Solid 4

Pros:

Sony is known for creating high quality electronics and the PS3 is one of them. The PS3 can also double as a Blu-ray player and is one of the cheapest blu-ray players on the market. PS3 games come in the Blu-ray format. The PS3 can also play PS2 and PS1 games. The Playstation 3 also has far superior graphics. There are also opportunities for online play.

Cons:

The PS3 is expensive. While the PS3 can play older games, not all of the older accessories will work and memory cards will need to be converted. Sony has released accessories that will compensate for these downfalls, but they must be purchased separately.

XBox 360:

Created by Microsoft, released in 2005.

My favorite game: Fallout 3

My Gamer's favorite: Left 4 Dead

Pros:

This system is cheaper than the Playstation 3 and plays DVDs. The system can also be set up to receive movies from Netflix. The Xbox 360's greatest advantage is the amount of opportunities brought about through the internet connection. Online play is very popular with 360 owners as is XBox Live. 360 games also tend to receive more downloadable content and the 360 does have some exclusive games such as Halo.

Cons:

The fail rate is enough to make most people reconsider buying another system. Depending upon who you ask there is between a 30-80% fail rate. Microsoft does offer a warranty, but once the system shows the red-ring-of-death, game play usually must be halted until the system can be repaired. And here is where we enter the realm of my opinion... The 360's graphics are obviously worse than those of the PS3. The experts would disagree with me and say that it's a matter of priorities, but I have watched the same game (Fallout 3) on both the 360 and the PS3 and there is an obvious difference. Some may prefer the 360's look, but the PS3 has a sharper and more realistic image.

DS/DSi:

Created by Nintendo, the original DS was released in 2003, the Lite in 2005, and the DSi was released in 2009.

My Favorite game: My Chinese Coach

My Gamer's Favorite: (tie) Trauma Center or The World Ends With You

Pros:

The DS/DS Lite can play Gameboy Advanced games. There are also a slew of family- and kid-friendly games available. Many of the DS games are very unique, as is the Pictochat feature. The DS line is the only line of handhelds that currently has a touchscreen and some games are equipped with voice recognition software. The DSi also has a camera and internet capabilities. Like the Wii, the DS line also holds to the Nintendo ease of use.

Cons:

While serious games do exist for the DS, they are often drowned out by all of the children's games. The DSi does not play any Gameboy games, and none of the DS's can play Gameboy Color games. The touch screen needs to be properly protected or it will scratch and many people have trouble with loosing the stylus.

Playstation Portable (PSP):

Created by Sony, the original PSP was released in the USA in 2003.

My favorite game: UMD movies

My Gamer's favorite: Crisis Core

Pros:

The PSP has much better graphics than the DS line. The PSP also has more of a serious gamer set of games and can receive downloadable content. The PSP can also play UMD movies and if the owner chooses the void their warranty, the system and can be modified to perform other tasks and play older games.

Cons:

Some people have experienced slow loading times and there aren't a lot of UMD movies available. The PSP only has one screen compared the the two found on the DS.

Personal Computer:

Created by various companies and originally released sometime in the 1980's.

My favorite game: Spore

My Gamer's favorite: World of Warcraft

Pros:

Personal computers can perform a variety of tasks and there are computers in every style and price range. Many PCs are now portable and some PC games can be accessed by any PC, not just one. Online play is a very big selling point, and many PC games receive regular, or semi-regular, downloadable content. Also, some games from older systems can be accessed.

Cons:

Some games will require large amounts of memory. In order to play a game, you must have the system requirements and this is not guaranteed as it is with other systems. For Mac users, many games are not Mac-compatible, but the newer Macs can run Windows and games can be played that way.

Each system has its merits and its downfalls. While I can say which systems I like the best, not every gaming need will be met with any single system. There is no consensus about which system is better than the others and there never will be. The best thing to do is to evaluate the system based on the gamer's priorities and go from there.

Review: FallOut 3

Played on: PS3 and XBox 360

FallOut 3 is the story of a person from Vault 101. The player can chose to be a male or female. They were born and raised in this vault (think the 1950's bomb shelters), and when they finally leave they enter into a world that has been devastated by nuclear war. The player goes about the world fighting off mutants, feral ghouls, mercenaries, raiders, and animals that have been mutated by the nuclear waste. The player completes missions given to them by the people they meet and try to figure out the story of his or her past while attempting to restore the land.

Visuals:

FallOut 3 has very realistic graphics and some of the gameplay can come across movie-like. The graphics are superior on the PS3. The game can be somewhat gory. If a shot is aimed just right, the enemy will be decapitated, but there is generally not a lot of blood and guts. While it is not exactly "pretty," FallOut 3 is visually quite interesting, particularly when the game brings you to areas that are modeled after modern day urban centers. The concept of a world after nuclear war is interesting to watch and keeps the viewer's attention.

Audio:

The sounds of shots being fired, super-mutants grunting, and enemies crying out is a small price to pay for Three Dog. While there are other radio stations available in the game, Three Dog beats them all. The fictional DJ's sarcastic news reports and the station's old-time songs create an amazing soundtrack for the game. If there was a Three Dog radio station in real life, I would be a faithful listener. The only downside is that during sneak attacks, the player will often need to turn off the radio, but do not fret, these moments are not usually long lasting.

Involvement:

Generally speaking, there are not a lot of opportunities for girlfriend involvement. During the Pitt downloadable content, she might be able to help locate ingots, and occasionally she might be helpful in finding enemies, but they are marked on the compass.

Overall:

FallOut 3 might not be the best game for a girlfriend who is new to the gamer lifestyle (I found it a bit disturbing when I first saw my husband beat a giant mole rat to death, but I soon got over that. Plus, he now has the animal friend perk), but with Three Dog playing, most gamer girlfriends would find this game to be interesting enough for an afternoon of watching on the couch. The girlfriend who wants to be involved, might be a little let down by the game, but with some encouragement from her player, will find ways to help out.

Personally, I love FallOut 3. I haven't played a single second of the game, and have no desire to, but I will gladly sit next to my boy as he kills off the Talon Company and will sing-along to Three Dog.

"I'm as corny as Kansas in August, I'm as normal as blueberry pie."