Saturday, May 8, 2010

Another Late Night Boob Rant

So... I was going to write about the obscene and strange nature of the Record of Agarest War Limited Edition. But, at first I couldn't remember the game's name. The only thing I remembered about it was that it came with a mouse pad that has breasts. Now you may be asking yourself "Why does an XBox game need a mouse pad?" And that's a good question. The better question is "WTF! Why are there boobs on that #@%$ing mousepad?" And so, I was going to go on a random rant about the video game world's obsession with breasts and how all these pasty-faced white boys living in their momma's basement have unrealistic views of breasts and if they ever got their hands on a real one, they'd probably die of shock, but I couldn't remember the game's name.

So I googled "mouse pads with breasts". (Take a second, read that line again, giggle a bit, and continue.)

I was googling and trying to find the name of this game and came upon 82,300 results, most of which are companies who sell mouse pads with "ergonomic" breasts for support! Most of the women featured on these products (still not sure if I should call them mouse pads, sex toys, or freaky fetish dolls) feature anime characters or adult movie stars; all with substantially large breasts... to support your wrists... or something.

Here's the real irony in all of this... Gigantic breasts are not ergonomic or supportive. In fact, they require large medieval devices into to be supported! In proportion to the photos on these mouse pads, some of these girls have breasts that are each larger than their heads. Pamela Anderson didn't even hit those proportions! Now I realize that reality is so far gone from the designers of these products. They make gel filled breasts that make even the worst implants feel like homegrown, and really, the idiotic men who will buy one of these mouse pads because they're cheaper than blow-up dolls will probably never care.

But for goodness sake they are breasts. Every female (and many males) have them! Your mother has breasts, and your grandmother, and great-grandmother. Why must their be gigantic breasts all of the place? Perhaps it is simply my inner feminist rearing her shaved GI Jane head, but this just seems out right crazy to me. These Freudian artifacts are just down right creepy, and I don't really have anything to say about the game...

3 comments:

  1. i totally had to google it.
    I couldnt help myself LOL

    and wow. just wow.

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  2. I just don't understand how breasts could be described as "ergonomic".

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  3. B <3 <3 bies!!! yeay!!!!!

    ReplyDelete

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