Saturday, October 29, 2011

How To Get Your Girlfriend To Play Magic The Gathering

So you play Magic. You have a girlfriend (or wife or whatnot). You want to play Magic with your girlfriend. And she just kinda looks at you funny...

As a wife who was brought over to the dark land of the Planeswalkers, let me share a few tips on how to encourage your lady friend to pick up a deck. Here are ten basic tips for getting your girl to play, and enjoy, Magic the Gathering.


  1. Keep it simple. If you go to play with your girl and you're playing one of these crazy complicated decks, it is likely to be overwhelming. Start with a more simple deck like the Zombie Starter Deck featured earlier this month.
  2. Another good starting deck is one that plays to her interests (hers, not yours). Perhaps you like a quick moving goblin deck, but she's more of a Merfolk milling deck type of person. Maybe you like heavy control decks with lots of instants, but she prefers a creature heavy deck. Build, or help her build, a deck with cards that will peak her interests, not just ones that win games quickly. For casual play, you can try the Pussycat Must Survive deck previously posted.
  3. On that note, you might have an awesome deck that wins in less than five turns, but now's not the time to use it. If she doesn't get to play hardly anything in the deck, and looses very quickly, she's not likely to learn much about the game, nor want to play again. Play a competitive deck if you wish, but one that will allow for her to learn the game and get to use what's in her deck.
  4. Also, be very patient. If you've been playing for ten, fifteen, twenty years, MTG comes very easy to you by now. It won't be the same for her. Take your time. Remember that "mana" and "casting" aren't necessarily part of everyone's vocabulary. Her questions may seem stupid to you (I know my questions just about annoyed the crap out of Philip), but if she feels judged or thinks you're being condescending, your chances of success will drop very quickly.
  5. Let her watch you play with others. Have her come with you to a Friday Night Magic or some other tournament. One of the reasons I first wanted to learn to play was because I went with Philip to FNM and was bored just watching. I wanted to learn the game so that I would know what they heck they were talking about.
  6. This may seem silly, but accessorize. Most girls like things to be pretty. Now, her definition of pretty may be different from someone else's, but let your girlfriend make Magic pretty. Here's what you need: card sleeves, deck box, dice, dice bag, and play mat. Make a set in her favorite color or with a character from MTG that she likes such as Ajani. Or, if you've already peaked her interest, take her to the gaming store and let her shop! 
  7. If she is going to play in a tournament setting, make sure it's a fairly nice community. Where we used to play, there were several really competitive players who weren't always so nice to newbies. Try to break her in slowly so that she can play with pleasant people who will be patient in explaining the game as it's played.
  8. Be willing to play with her as often as she wants. Once I learned the basics and built my first deck, I wanted to play all the time. I think we played on 4 of 7 nights in between my first and second time at FNM because I wanted to learn more. If you are successful in getting her to want to play, be willing to play with her as much as you can. This is what you wanted, now cultivate it!
  9. Don't let her win, but don't be a sore loser either. We lady folk tend to be very aware of the male ego's ability to be bruised. Some don't care, but your girlfriend/wife is likely to not want to embarrass you or hurt your ego. If you aren't such a good loser, learn now. The first time I ever beat Philip I jumped up and down a little, maybe even squealed. But, he's a good guy, and he could take it. When she wins, be happy for her.
  10. After all is said and done, remember that girls not only can play Magic, but they can kick your ass too. This was written for those with partners who are less oriented towards MTG, but you just might be a lucky lad with a girl who will catch on quick. Don't be alarmed if she starts taking first on Friday nights and you're left in the dust... Just saying.

Friday, October 28, 2011

Ha Ha Ha!

A friend posted this photo on Facebook. I'm not sure where it originates from but it's awesome!

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Review: Batman Arkham City

Played on PS3



So, I'm really glad I didn't let anyone spoil the ending for me. I know it got leaked early and tons of people already knew what was going on, but I didn't, and I'm not telling you! Anyways, in this sequel to the previously released, and awesome Batman Arkham Asylum (read my review here) we get a new Batman. This isn't the Adam West Batman you may have grown up with. He's not PC nor PG in anyway. This game really gave us a Batman in line with the current comics: he's dark, he's angry, he's brutal, but he's just. The game also gave little nods towards some of the newer comics in regards to certain costumes or buildings.

Now, that I've shown my comic-nerd-y-ness, on to the game. This game is set in Arkham City. Arkham City is essentially a prison colony. Think of the early penal colonies except replace the debtors with organized crime thugs and super villains. Batman ends up inside Arkham City and has contracted a very quick and deadly disease. He must then work with and through many of our favorite super villains in order to obtain a cure and save himself and Gotham.

There are also plenty of cameos from our femme fatales. Catwoman, Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn, and Talia al Ghul all make an appearance. (And without getting all worked up over the sexism debate out there, these ladies are very in line with the newer comics. Just check out Gotham City Sirens.)

Visuals: This game is really dark visually as well as plot-wise. The world of Arkham City is very detailed, but the darkness of it all makes much of the landscape blend together. However, they did an amazing job with the character design. Each thug is dressed differently depending upon which boss he follows. Each of the super villains are impeccably done. They were able to combine some traditional elements of each villain (such as Joker being tall and lanky) while also incorporating some of the newer comic elements (the Mad Hatter is absolutely amazingly done). The variations of Batman as well as wonderful. Also, I love how they make Catwoman move, especially when she licks her "paws" while waiting.

Audio: They did a good job here of making sure you can hear what's being said. The local surveillance lets you hear what's being said by the thugs who may be many feet away, but this adds to the storyline little bits at a time. The way they did the Riddler's recordings was also really neat. Every now and then, it just breaks up a little bit, and has a really cool sound to it. My one annoyance was that there was this thunder sound every time Batman took out a thug. In the bigger fights, this got a little bothersome, but that's pretty minor.

Involvement: Similar to the last Batman game, the Riddler's riddles can provide a great way to get involved in the game without having to handle a controller. Also, there's quite a bit of strategy involved in this game, which I don't recall being as important in the first. This means that you can get involved by helping to plan how to reach certain points without being seen, or how to use certain game mechanics to your advantage.

Overall: Seriously, I loved this game. I had to force myself to go work while Philip played, because I would have sat on the couch the whole time and just watched it. I loved the characters and how they were portrayed. I love how they made them move within the world in such a way as it seemed like that's how they would really move. The game was fluid and fast paced, yet gave sufficient time for such a story to develop that it really was well-rounded. The cameo appearances and little side-world battles were well done and allowed the game to flush out some well-known, and not-so-well-known villains. Overall, it was great. My only complaint was that there wasn't enough Poison Ivy.

Zombie Haiku

Our final selection from Ryan Mecum's Zombie Haiku:

I loved my momma.
I eat her with my mouth closed,
how she would want it.

Need more undead poetry? Buy Ryan Mecum's book here:
http://www.amazon.com/Zombie-Haiku-Good-Poetry-Your-Brains/dp/1600610706

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Zombie Haiku

She's much faster,
but going upstairs leads nowhere,
and I'm much stronger.

-Ryan Mecum, Zombie Haiku

Sunday, October 23, 2011

Clix Pick

Now, I found myself wondering what clix represents the best hero to have on my side during the impending zombie apocalypse. Then suddenly it hit me! The Bat-Man. Always prepared, brutally...um, brutal. The Bat-Man is the one to take on the zombies and save my plants!

Zombie Gear Stop: Cera's Sweet Shop

Even in the zombie apocalypse, you need a treat every now and then. Why not munch on some yummy sugar brains? Don't worry, these are zombie-virus free!

http://www.etsy.com/listing/78883632/zombie-brain-bites-sugar-cookies-8
These are just one of the many yummy treats available from Cera's Sweet Shop. She makes lovely treats for all occasions before and after the apocalypse! Check her store out here:
http://www.etsy.com/shop/cerassweetshop?ref=seller_info

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Zombie Haiku

One that gets away,
a man with a cricket bat,
cracks me in the face.

-Ryan Mecum, Zombie Haiku




If you've fallen in love with these poems like I have, you can buy the book from Amazon here:
http://www.amazon.com/Zombie-Haiku-Good-Poetry-Your-Brains/dp/1600610706

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Lessons from a Zombie Movie: Dawn of the Dead

Here's a brief rundown of some reminders from this classic tale of the undead.


  • Grab your keys. Or the keys to whatever vehicle you plan to escape in. This helps eliminate the need to learn how to hot-wire a care with an audience of undead.
  • Get some shoes. They don't ever explain how the girl in bare feet walked over the broken glass, but her feet would be awfully cut up. Shoes keep you free from injury and help you to be always ready to flee.
  • Secure your shelter. Check that the doors and windows are closed. Also check for any undead hiding in closets, stairwells, or hallways. You don't want any surprises after you've gotten settled in.
  • Make an SOS or other sign to tell rescue workers where you are. Unless you plan to keep moving, you will eventually want to be rescued. If you want someone to know where you are, make it easy to spot you. Be especially wise to make an SOS large enough to be seen from a distance and/or aircraft. If possible, make your presence known outside. However, this is not worth risking becoming yummy zombie burgers.
  • Take the guns from the crazies. If you find yourself taking shelter with someone who's mental status is questionable, secure the weapons. You don't need to be fighting the undead and the unmedicated.
  • While malls are risky due to the number of hiding places and entrances/exits to be secured, they do provide plenty of supplies. This should be taken into account when considering alternative shelters.
  • Once again, rescue missions are always a bad idea. Become a cold-hearted zombie-survivor as soon as possible and just leave the other people outside.
  • White boards and dry erase markers are always handy. You never know when you might need one. Start carrying one around even before the zombies come. Trust me, you'll put it to good use.
  • Find ways to have fun. Play board games like chess, or create fun zombie-centered games like shoot the celeb look-alike.
  • Don't sneak up on people. It's just not nice. Be polite an announce your presence. People are armed after the zombies come and you don't want to get shot.
  • If you are unfamiliar with firearms, learn where the safety is and make sure it is off before you enter any dangerous areas. If you aren't sure, point the gun and shoot. If it fires, the safety is off.
  • Let me just say this again, because people don't seem to get the hint. If your animal companion is freaked out or running for its life, do the same. Seriously people, they survived without weapons for a reason.
  • Now, as part of being a cold-hearted zombie-survivor, if you promise to shoot someone should they become infected, do so. Just because the world's gone to hell, that doesn't mean you can welch on a promise.
  • To sum this all up, now's the time to get in touch with your inner pyromaniac. Explosives and fire are great and can come in handy. So channel your angry teenage self and blow it all up!
That's it for today. Be safe!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Zombie Plans: For the Workplace

You spend 40 or so hours at work each week. Therefore, unless you're asleep, you will probably be at work when the zombies strike. So what do you do?


  • First things first, the company's profit margins no longer matter. It's time to think survival first.
  • Do you have plans to meet up with others? Are you going home to be with your wife or meeting your brother at ye ol' hunting lodge? Do you by chance work someplace that will make a good shelter like a military base warehouse without any windows? Also be aware if you work someplace that seems like a good shelter such as a convenience store or hospital. Hospitals always fall to the undead and have a large number of easy victims. You can disregard that oath you sorta said in college and run like hell.
  • Now it's time to look at your coworkers. Who will be a valuable asset to you in this time? Now's the time to start making these decisions. Which coworkers have zombie plans of their own? They're likely to be good starting points. Which coworkers give you the feeling like they might go postal and end up on an FBI watch list? They might be good to have on your side, or they might go all Criminal Minds on you when the blood starts flying. 
  • Also be aware of which coworkers are likely to be a burden in your time of need. If Sally bawls her eyes out when the copier jams, she won't be much help. The guy who is always looking for his stapler and can't see five inches in front of him is really only useful for one thing: speed bump. If Marge is nine months pregnant, she will slow you down. (You might want to reconsider if Marge is nine months pregnant with your off-spring, but remember, you are a cold-blooded zombie-survivor now. Is this really the best time to get all parental?)
  • Now, if you don't drive to work, or worse, drive a tiny little sportscar, you might want to consider stealing the janitor's pick-up. You will likely need to do some off-roading. Try to find an all terrain vehicle that looks good and sturdy, preferable one with a higher profile so you can clear the bodies on the highway. The afore mentioned lunatic's car might also be a good choice if you think he might have some shooting supplies handy.
  • Next, if you are leaving work, what is your escape plan? Here's where the rest of that planning comes in handy. Let's say you're the first to learn of the impending doom drooling it's way towards your cubical. Who do you tell? Telling the whole office will either get you laughed at, or worse, cause a panic potentially blocking your exit. Keep your mouth shut and only tell those who you need to have on your team, if you need them at all. Calmly exit the building and continue to your safe location.
  • Another thing to consider: Now that your company's profits are not an issue, and you won't be getting that next paycheck anytime soon, loot whatever you can. If Dave has a case of Ramen in the break room, it no longer matters what that label says. Oh, and Cindy's bottle water stash is up for grabs as well. Manners don't matter in the zombie apocalypse, and you probably won't see your coworkers alive again anyways, so who cares if you piss them off?
  • One last thing: You never know in who's zombie plan you may or may not be included. Be wise. Be nice to your coworkers up until the time of zombie death. This may save your life. No one's going to rescue the jerk from the fourth floor, but that really nice guy who seems to be prepared for anything? He's on my team.

Zombie Haiku

Bones are hard to break.
The skull is not like an egg,
takes more whacks to crack.

-Ryan Mecum, Zombie Haiku

Sunday, October 16, 2011

MTG: Zombie Starter Deck

This deck is focused on zombies, infect and gaining life while taking it.. It only uses black mana and is designed for those who are new to the game. All the cards are either from New Phyrexia or M12.

20 Swamps
2 Deathmark
2 Consume Spirit
4 Mindcrank
2 Pristine Talisman
2 Taste of Blood
4 Grim Affliction
4 Pith Driller
2 Warpath Ghoul
2 Caress of Phyrexia
4 Gravedigger
4 Reaper of Sheoldred
4 Geth's Verdict
4 Zombie Infestation
4 Dismember
4 Cemetery Reaper

Best of luck to you!

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Zombie Gear Stop

Today's Zombie Gear Stop is Zed's Zombie Ranch. These unique signs, stakes, and shirts will help you to redecorate once the zombies have taken over. Keep the salesmen away with with this adorable sign:

And warn your friends with this t-shirt:

Check out Zed's amazing selection of items for your future zombie shelter here:

http://www.etsy.com/shop/zedszombieranch?ref=seller_info

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Just to ponder...

Last night my dreams were a combination of Game of Thrones and zombie movies. The Starks are pretty good zombie-killers! What fictional character would you want on your zombie-killing team?

Zombie Haiku

Her toes are like grapes
with the same rush of flavor.
Same juices, same pop.

-Ryan Mecum, Zombie Haiku

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Lessons from a Zombie Movie: Walking Dead

Ok, I know Walking Dead is a TV show now a movie... but it's close enough. Here are some pointers from the first season. If you want to continue your education, tune into AMC this Sunday, October 16th for season two!


  • Once again, do not undervalue the importance of a coma. Also, if your loved one is in a coma, don't assume they're dead.
  • Headshot. Put simply, destroying the brain is always the the best course of action.
  • Learn to blend in. This could mean using side streets and staying inconspicuous, or it could mean disguising yourself as a zombie. Either way, being unnoticeable to the zombie horde gives you greater potential for movement. On that note, keep quiet and block out unnecessary light. Only have enough light/fire for what you absolutely need.
  • If a door say, "Do not open. Dead inside." keep your distance.
  • Look for forms of transportation that do not require gas and make minimal noise: bicycles and horses are both good choices. The horse can even become a distraction if need be. And don't feel bad for the horse, in almost every movie not made by Disney, the horse dies. It's just a fact of life. On the topic of animals, if they are freaked out and don't want to go down that road, listen to them. They usually have a reason for getting so upset!
  • If you evacuate from your home, but have to leave loved ones behind. Leave a note. It's only polite.
  • Arm the children. They can fight off the undead as well, and its better to learn now than not at all. Also, be mindful of your ammo, and remember, malay weapons are always best.
  • Know the zombies. Be watchful, but don't keep a zombie lab rat. Know what the symptoms are of early infection and how the disease progresses if it's slow. Also, watch for how the zombies hunt. How do they find food? If you can answer that question, you will be better able to stay under their radar.
  • Face protection. Once again, your face is covered in open mucus membranes that are easily contaminated. Guard your face from blood splatter.
  • Communication towers will quickly go down. CB radios and walkie-talkies will continue as long as you can keep power to them. Just be careful about following a recording of unknown origin.
  • Military vehicles can be great transports. Just remember to clear any bodies and preferably hijack one with gas that you can drive.
  • Don't risk a rescue mission. That guy and that bag of guns really aren't worth it.
  • Make an alarm system. If something enters your camp, you should know about it. Early detection is key in preventing cancer and zombie deaths.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Gifts for the Gaming Baby

Here's a quick link to some great gift ideas for your little ones!

http://www.etsy.com/treasury/MTA2MDg5ODZ8ODY0ODYyMDI2/its-never-too-early

Zombie Haiku

Brains, BRAINS, Brains, brains, BRAINS.
BraiNS, brains, Brains, BRAINS, Brains, brains, BRAINS.
BRAINS, brains, brains, BRAINS, brains.

Another lovely selection from Ryan Mecum's Zombie Haiku

Monday, October 10, 2011

Zombie Plans: For the Home

Let's take some time to think out a good zombie plan if you happen to be at home during the initial outbreak. Here are some tips for you as you make your plans this month.

  • Know your escape routes. If your loved one happens to be patient zero you will need a way out and fast.
  • Know the ways in. If the zombies are outside, you will need to block all entrances. This means windows, doors, sliders, basements, everything. 
  • Get a dog. Not only are they proven to deter thieves, they can alert you to the incoming undead before you might otherwise be aware. However, also be aware that in some cases animals can be infected as well. Your beloved pooch might try to eat your brains.
  • On that note, state detaching. Your neighbor who bakes those yummy cookies? Probably a zombie. The girls in your scout troupe or the boys on your tee-ball team, probably going to try to eat you some time soon.
  • However, some neighbors can be assets. The crazy old man down the road who is convinced that the Commies are still after him probably has a large supply of rations and a bunker in his basement. The retired Navy Seal is probably a good one to have on your side as well. Don't forget, hunters, policemen, and other service personnel can also be a source of supplies.
  • Look for neighbors who can provide essential services as well. Neighbors to hit the top of the list include medical professionals, those trained in any type of combat, and those with unique survival skills.
  • Put your neighbors in your plan. Who will you try to rescue? Whose door will you knock on when your roommate tries to eat you?
  • Know the local sources of supplies. You might go across town to buy organic produce, but when the zombie apocalypse happens the convince store around the corner is probably best. Where's the closest gas station? Fast route to the next city or rural area? What about the least traveled areas? Remember, you won't be the only one headed to Wal-mart.
  • What supplies do you already have? Think of food and medical supplies as well as potential malay weapons. Guns are nice, but that signed collectors baseball bat doesn't need ammo. Your shovel or broomstick can work in a pinch as well. Also, remember to raid the kitchen for knives, the bigger the better.
  • Have a plan for family and friends on who will go where if you plan to meet up. Also, it might be good to come up with a plan of how you will tell if they are infected or not such as a code word or complicated hand sign.
  • If the zombies are outside, do not leave. Just sit back and enjoy the apocalypse. Either they will leave or someone will come and get you. Or you might just spend the rest of your days inside those four walls. In any case, be prepared to overcome cabin fever. Comic books, Magic the Gathering, perhaps even a video game or two... Just find something to pass the time.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Review: Shadow of the Colossus

Played on PS3

For his birthday, the gamer picked up the Ico & Shadow of the Colossus Collection for Playstation 3. I had never seen either of these games played and was excited to get to see two games that he has talked about quite a bit. Today I will focus on Shadow of the Colossus.

You play as a boy (I think it's a boy, he's pretty small to be a man) who is trying to gain a magical power to revive a young lady. This voice from the heavens tells you that you can get this power if you kill all of the Colossi. You have a sword that points you towards the Colossi and you have to climb on top of them and stab them in their shiny places. (No, that was not meant to be a crude reference, you really do look for the shiny spot and stab in. However, jokes are allowed.)

Apparently the original was only done with subtitles. This version has voices, but their in Japanese. Pretty neat, but I'm not a huge fan of subtitled games, movies sure, not so much game.

Audio: On that note, the Japanese voices are actually rather nice to listen to. Also, the music in the game is really mellow. If nothing else, this game provides good music for meditation. In fact, I was really tired with the gamer started playing the game and the music was so lyrical and soft that I sorta dozed off. Moving on...

Visuals: Also in the really calm and serene, the world is really pretty. Now, it was made for the Playstation 2 so it's not graphically equal to most other PS3 games, but I think it easily looks better than quite a few XBox 360 games. They added a lot of detail for the limits of the system they were working in. For example, they made the horse's tail slightly transparent so it looks like you're seeing all the different hairs. Little touches like that really help to make this game visually stunning.

Involvement: This game provides a good deal of opportunity for you to get involved (if you don't end up dozing on the couch with the cat). Like I said earlier you have to climb the colossi and find the right spot to attack. Now, the colossi don't just stand there and let you climb. It's good to have a second pair of eyes to find the right path up the giant so that you don't fall off with he moves. Further, if this is the first play through you can help to find where the shiny spots are.

Overall: This was a really neat game. I've enjoyed getting to see the story unfold and it's nice to have something really mellow in the midst of all the uber violent and in your face games that we see today. It's a really nice game if you're just going to sit back and watch but is interesting and challenging enough that you can get into it as well. I look forward to seeing Ico and what that looks like.

Zombie Gear Stop

As part of your preparation for the impending doom of the living, you will need to stock up on supplies. Number one on any lady zombie killer's list: making sure you don't start to smell like the undead. Today's featured Gear Stop is an etsy shop filled with handmade bath and body products to keep you fresh after your days of beheading the undead. Bloodbath provides awesome products to keep you clean from head to toe as well as some zombie and Dexter items to brighten your shelter space. Bloodbath answered some questions about their zombie preparations:

Q: What's your favorite zombie movie?
A: Aaah! Zombies!

Q: What's your favorite zombie item in your shop?
A: Zombie Love Body Wash (Find that item here.)

Q: Do you have a zombie plan?
A: Yes.

Q: What is the most important part of a zombie plan?
A: Fitting in... act like a zombie to throw them off your trail.

Q: What do you love most about zombies?
A: I love that they are constantly hungry. No maliciousness, they just want to eat.

Q: How do you think the zombie apocalypse will begin?
A: A Blackout. Lack of refrigeration and spoiled milk.

There you have it. Bloodbath is not only prepared, but on the look out for those curds and whey. Stop by Bloodbath's etsy shop and get stocked up for that great black out. Use the coupon code: aaahzombies for 10% off!

Bloodbath's shop can be found at this link:
http://www.etsy.com/shop/Bloodbath?ref=seller_info

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Zombie Haiku

The loud explosion
pulls our attention toward it
with hopes of fired food.

-Ryan Mecum, Zombie Haiku

Wednesday, October 5, 2011

News

Steve Jobs, co-founder of Apple passed away today. He will be greatly missed and has touched all of our lives.

http://www.apple.com/stevejobs/

Lessons from a Zombie Movie: 28 Days Later

As part of your awareness training, I wanted to bring you tips that we have learned from other people's encounters with the undead. As the only evidence of other encounters exists within film and literature, these are the resources I shall pull from. Today I present you with tips and hints from the film 28 Days Later.

First mistake of the movie: Lab animals infected with God-knows-what should not be set free. I don't care how much of an animal rights activist you are, you are not prepared to handle biologically unstable chimps.  Leave the monkey transport to the professionals.

Next comes the issue of food. Now, in this scenario they are consuming large amounts of sugar for their energy. This leads to headaches and sugar crashes. Instead, you should eat the most natural and simple foods you can. Fruit, veggies, and meat are best when you can find them, whole grains when you can't. Sure, the processed food lasts longer, but your blood sugar will be on a roller coaster ride. Strive to maintain stable blood sugar for the most energy and fewest crashes.

This movie also teaches us a great deal about the value and risk of other people. First, having those with you that you can trust can be a great help, they can keep watch at night and keep you from going mad. However, you should be wary of strangers, and keep your physical distance until you are sure that they are not infected/zombies. This is not the time to offer free hugs.

On the topic of people, be wary of military regimens. Military personnel can provide a great deal of support and security. However, these men and women are no longer a part of a larger national organizational system. Individuals with military background can be just as dangerous as they are beneficial. Choose your interactions with military carefully.

Zombies are not pets. They do not make good research subjects. They should not be kept chained in your backyard. (I feel like this should be a given, but apparently some idiot always thinks it's a good idea to keep a zombie as a pet. Just get a chinchilla.)

This one you might not have much choice about, but coma patients seem to always last through the initial onset of infected/zombie hordes. Not only in this movie, but in other pieces of work as well, your main character was in a coma or coma-like state during the onset of the apocalypse. If you know it's coming, try to find your way into a deep sleep in a hospital, but you probably won't be that lucky.

Another place of interest. People seem to always go to the church building, and they always get attacked. Churches might seem like the place to go after the infected start eating people, you know you should probably repent for that little stunt in college, but it doesn't work out. Here's why: everyone else freaked out and went to the church, too! Therefore, the church is a large building full of people and odds are one will start eating the rest. Say your prayers elsewhere.

Ok, now here's a basic health lesson. If the virus is transmitted through contact with blood/saliva in your blood or mucus membranes (eyes, nose, mouth), then cover your freaking mouth and eyes! Seriously people, didn't you learn this stuff in school? Wear a face mask and goggles and you won't be getting any stray blood in places it won't come out.

Search and rescue missions, this is where it gets tricky. Obviously you want to save your loved ones. However, you need to think about survival. Only attempt to save those closest to you, or those who will of the greatest benefit. Also, limit your search and rescue missions to the first week, maybe week and half of the onset of the epidemic. Otherwise, you are likely wasting your time and taking too great a risk.

How to deal with the infected. Zombies are not people. They were people, but no longer. If a travel companion is infected, or you suspect that they are infected, they are no longer your friend. They are now the predator looking for prey and you should take immediate action.

Gear is very important. If you are holding up in a specific location, find ways to block your entrance or create an alarm (soda cans or shopping carts). Also, if possible swipe some riot gear. The cops don't need it any more. If traveling, always have a spare tire. Raid the supermarkets and pharmacies whenever possible for additional supplies and carry as much as you can. When picking out your weapon, malay weapons and knives/swords are best. Guns may be great for longer range attacks but require ammo. If you run out of ammo your gun becomes a club, and less handy than a baseball bat. Have enough equipment/supplies for approximately two months.

Where to go: Do not go into a building unless you have to or are looking for supplies. If there is a stampede of rats, follow the rats. If it's bad enough to scare away those vermin, you should probably not wait around to see it. Now, many people want to follow the radio broadcast that repeats over and over that there's no infected at such and such place. This is tricky. If the broadcast repeats you don't even know if it's still true. Even if there are no infected, you don't know who or what will be waiting for you. Weigh your options carefully, this may not be your best bet.

Beware the fast and stealthy zombies, and be wary of birds. They seem to always be bad news.

And don't kiss a guy covered in zombie blood. Never mind the safety issues, that just plain gross.

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Gamer Gifts for Her

Perhaps you know a lady gamer or maybe you just want to give your lady a little nudge towards the dark side... These are better than cookies:

http://www.etsy.com/treasury/MTA2MDg5ODZ8ODIxMDE2MDcz/gamer-gifts-for-her

Zombie Haiku

As part of Zombie Apocalypse Awareness Month, let's dive into the mind of the undead with a haiku!
(These haiku's come from one of my favorites: Zombie Haiku by Ryan Mecum. I absolutely loved this book and recommend you buy a copy. No zombie-literature collection is complete without it! Find on Amazon here: http://www.amazon.com/Zombie-Haiku-Good-Poetry-Your-Brains/dp/1600610706)

Brains are less squishy
and a tad bit more squeaky
than someone might guess.

Monday, October 3, 2011

The Importance of a Plan

During this time of the Zombie Apocalypse Awareness Month, I shall be highlighting some important aspects of zombie preparedness. In particular, I shall address some zombie plan issues. Today's topic: Why is a zombie plan important?

First, it is always the ones who don't expect the zombie apocalypse who get hit first. Be prepared and be wary!

Second, when that first zombie bites, all chaos will break loose. Will you be panicking with the masses or will you remain calm and stick to the plan?

Thirdly, the game here is survival. When the zombies attack this will become a game of Darwinism at it's finest. You may be the strongest, or the best marksmen, but will you be able to survive in your fortress? You may be the smartest, but can you find a weapon in your office?

Next, those with the plans become the leaders. Governments and military will fall once the undead roam and groups will need a wise ruler. Will you be the next great dictator? Or will this be your Battle of Waterloo?

Finally, the most important reason you should have a zombie plan: So you don't become a zombie yourself, unless of course, that is your plan...

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Yummy Brains!



To kick off Zombie Apocalypse Awareness Month I wanted to share with you one of my favorite zombie treats: Strawberry brain with dark chocolate dirt!

Last year I bought a zombie brain jell-o mold from Hastings. We've used it a few times now and I've gotten the kinks out. One way of making the brain is to use Lime jell-o and add gummy worms, but my latest yummy brain was a bit different.

To make your dark chocolate dirt smash dark chocolate chips with a hammer.


You will need two packages of Strawberry Jell-o and some vegetable oil.
Grease the jell-o mold with vegetable oil. (I forgot this step at first and it didn't work out too well.)

Make both packages of jell-o as instructed on the package (use the regular instructions not the quick set).

Poor into the mold. Place the mold in a bowl first to keep it more steady. Don't worry about bubbles.


After the jell-o has set, wiggle the mold. After the jell-o is separated from the mold, place a plate over the mold and flip the jell-o onto the plate.
Sprinkle with the dark chocolate dirt.
Eat with a fork or serve in slices!

I hope you enjoy your treat. Keep this handy if you're hosting a Halloween or zombie party, or if the zombies attack and all you have is jell-o!

Zombie Apocalypse Awareness Month

To celebrate this most wonderful month I shall be doing a series of zombie-related posts! October is Zombie Apocalypse Awareness month (Ok, I made that up, but it should be!). So sit back, relax, and gather your weapons. At the end of the month you will be ready for the zombie horde!

A Selection from "The Littlest Zombie #1" from Antarctic Press.

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