Saturday, July 2, 2011
Simon Belmont
He's over 14 pounds now and all grown up! He'd looking at this tomato like "This isn't garlic. This won't help me defeat Dracula."
Review: Duke Nukem Forever
Played on PS3
So, I was not a Duke Nukem fan originally. In fact, not even sure I really had seen the game until Philip started playing it to get ready for Forever's release. That being said, I wasn't really buying into the hype. Then we went to the Gearbox Community Day. It was pretty cool. We didn't stay long, but we got to see some cool 3D stuff and listen to the Borderlands panel. The voice actor for Duke was there also and every time he spoke he reminded us that he had balls of steel. Anywho, that helped me to get a bit more excited for Forever's release. I watched Philip play the demo and I was offended, but optimistic. Then came the real game.
Ok so, from my understanding, Duke Nukem is loved because of his stereotypical machismo and the fact that his misogynistic tendencies get him laid by bimbos the world over. When not spreading his wild oats (and I would guess a multitude of viruses and bacteria), Duke fights aliens. Perhaps this is something from the old game that I don't get, but aliens? I suppose it just makes him more macho if he kills multiple species...
Visuals: I would genuinely like to applaud the makers of this game for their creative use of the female genitalia. The doors in several wilderness areas are modeled after the female organs and are opened by Duke using his finger. Further, some of the aliens hatch from vulva-shaped pods. I could go further, but they don't really try to hide these references, so you're sure to find them (or you need to review reproductive anatomy). The game itself isn't particularly pretty, but there are some interactive pieces to the environment that are kinda cool.
Audio: There's not much to say here. It's a shooter so there's a lot of gun noises. Duke's catch phrases can get a bit redundant and (at least to me) they loose their humor pretty quickly. The strip club had some catchy music (yes, I said strip club). That's really it...
Involvement: There really aren't many options for girlfriend involvement, and to be quite honest, if you are even close to a feminist, you will likely be offended at least once per area. There are some quests/trophies that you can assist in helping find certain objects, but for the most part this is very one-person.
Overall: Ok, even though I find a large portion of the game to be obscene and offensive, I do realize that that's what the game is trying for. They wanted to bring back the sleazy, outrageous Duke Nukem and put him in a new era of gaming. However, strippers are much less offensive as pixalated movements than they are in the new graphics. Anyone who has read any of my other posts knows that the fastest way to turn me off a game is to portray women as idiots who are only there to have large bouncing breasts. However, I have tried to watch this game and excuse it as the obsession of once-horny-college-freshman-computer-geeks, but I just haven't found much that I like about it. I don't think it's a bad game in and of itself, I just can't get in to it. Perhaps it is because I was not a Dukette to begin with and that I haven't been waiting 14 years for this game to come out, but to me it wasn't anything special.
I will say that Philip was a Duke fan with the original game and he has really enjoyed playing Forever. He finds the crudeness to be funny and even more funny in the context of the story of The Duke. In all honesty, it looks like it's probably fun to play, just make sure there aren't any children or feminists near by.
So, I was not a Duke Nukem fan originally. In fact, not even sure I really had seen the game until Philip started playing it to get ready for Forever's release. That being said, I wasn't really buying into the hype. Then we went to the Gearbox Community Day. It was pretty cool. We didn't stay long, but we got to see some cool 3D stuff and listen to the Borderlands panel. The voice actor for Duke was there also and every time he spoke he reminded us that he had balls of steel. Anywho, that helped me to get a bit more excited for Forever's release. I watched Philip play the demo and I was offended, but optimistic. Then came the real game.
Ok so, from my understanding, Duke Nukem is loved because of his stereotypical machismo and the fact that his misogynistic tendencies get him laid by bimbos the world over. When not spreading his wild oats (and I would guess a multitude of viruses and bacteria), Duke fights aliens. Perhaps this is something from the old game that I don't get, but aliens? I suppose it just makes him more macho if he kills multiple species...
Visuals: I would genuinely like to applaud the makers of this game for their creative use of the female genitalia. The doors in several wilderness areas are modeled after the female organs and are opened by Duke using his finger. Further, some of the aliens hatch from vulva-shaped pods. I could go further, but they don't really try to hide these references, so you're sure to find them (or you need to review reproductive anatomy). The game itself isn't particularly pretty, but there are some interactive pieces to the environment that are kinda cool.
Audio: There's not much to say here. It's a shooter so there's a lot of gun noises. Duke's catch phrases can get a bit redundant and (at least to me) they loose their humor pretty quickly. The strip club had some catchy music (yes, I said strip club). That's really it...
Involvement: There really aren't many options for girlfriend involvement, and to be quite honest, if you are even close to a feminist, you will likely be offended at least once per area. There are some quests/trophies that you can assist in helping find certain objects, but for the most part this is very one-person.
Overall: Ok, even though I find a large portion of the game to be obscene and offensive, I do realize that that's what the game is trying for. They wanted to bring back the sleazy, outrageous Duke Nukem and put him in a new era of gaming. However, strippers are much less offensive as pixalated movements than they are in the new graphics. Anyone who has read any of my other posts knows that the fastest way to turn me off a game is to portray women as idiots who are only there to have large bouncing breasts. However, I have tried to watch this game and excuse it as the obsession of once-horny-college-freshman-computer-geeks, but I just haven't found much that I like about it. I don't think it's a bad game in and of itself, I just can't get in to it. Perhaps it is because I was not a Dukette to begin with and that I haven't been waiting 14 years for this game to come out, but to me it wasn't anything special.
I will say that Philip was a Duke fan with the original game and he has really enjoyed playing Forever. He finds the crudeness to be funny and even more funny in the context of the story of The Duke. In all honesty, it looks like it's probably fun to play, just make sure there aren't any children or feminists near by.
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Best Anniversary Gift Ever!
So... The best gift for my husband and I was for me to get him this headset. He can play his games and be all excited about the new tech, and I don't have to hear any of it! Woot!
I love you, sweety! Happy anniversary!
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Why I wish life were a video game...
In the middle of my third day inside during this snow, I have decided that life would be better if it were a video game, here's why:
- You could buy a vehicle able to travel in the snow from a menu without having to leave (I'll take a tank or hummer or tractor or something).
- No matter what you're wearing, you never get cold. (Just think of the skimpy clothes all the girls wear and they never get cold!)
- You can plow through the snow with a bomb or turtle shell.
- I could ride a Yoshi through town.
- There is always another quest to be done.
- I could fast-travel to some place cool like Vegas or DC.
- I would most likely be in some castle with a nice warm fireplace waiting for a plumber to come rescue me.
- My castle would be surrounded by dragons or something that would keep me warm.
- There would be a setting that turns the snow off.
Ok, so... not too long of a list, but I've got a lot of free time. I'll think of some more. :)
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
11 in 2011
Yeah so... I know this is late, but I've been busy and it's the end of day two of snow week here, so I figured I might as well post, even if it's late. So, here are eleven games that I am looking forward to this year (in no particular order).
4. Portal 2
6. Ocarina of Time
remake
remake7. Gray Matter
8. Journey
What are you looking for?
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Clix of the Month: Gleek!
Hey... I wanted to make sure I did regular posts, so I'm making them fun! Plus, there haven't been too many new games, though I do plan to add a few reviews when it's not so late.
But....
The husband taught me to play Heroclix tonight. (As if the geek wasn't getting deep enough, let's add a miniatures game... just kidding, I asked for it.) So... I decided it would be fun to do a clix of the month! Woot! (I'm on a month kick or something. Deal with it.) Note: These clix will be chosen because I like them for some reason or another, not necessarily because they are good or something.
January's Clix of the month: Gleek!
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Point Value: 21
Why Gleek? Because he's a blue monkey! And just so darn cute!
What makes Gleek special? He's a monkey for hire! Well sort of... If you don't have the Wonder Twins, then the other guy can use Gleek because Gleek swings that way (on a vine).
What's Gleek's downside: He may have been owned by a clown once and that's just freaky. O.o
DC Heroclix DC 75th Anniversary Gleek LE
But....
The husband taught me to play Heroclix tonight. (As if the geek wasn't getting deep enough, let's add a miniatures game... just kidding, I asked for it.) So... I decided it would be fun to do a clix of the month! Woot! (I'm on a month kick or something. Deal with it.) Note: These clix will be chosen because I like them for some reason or another, not necessarily because they are good or something.
January's Clix of the month: Gleek!
Point Value: 21
Why Gleek? Because he's a blue monkey! And just so darn cute!
What makes Gleek special? He's a monkey for hire! Well sort of... If you don't have the Wonder Twins, then the other guy can use Gleek because Gleek swings that way (on a vine).
What's Gleek's downside: He may have been owned by a clown once and that's just freaky. O.o
DC Heroclix DC 75th Anniversary Gleek LE
Sunday, January 2, 2011
Gamer Girl MTG Deck of the Month: PMS
So... here's my plan. Once a month I will post a Magic the Gathering Deck that is made for female casual players (aka girls who want to play with their guys). Here's January's deck: Pussycat Must Survive (PMS)
20 Plains
3 Ajani Goldmane
4 Ajani's Pridemate
4 Ajani's Mantra
2 Kemba, Kha Regent
4 Kemba's Skyguard
3 Leonin Arbiter
4 Abuna Acolyte
4 Silvercoat Lion
2 Sword of Body and Mind
3 Pacifism
4 Solemn Offering
2 Silence
3 Soul Parry
4 Seize the Initiative
Side board:
4 Revoke Existence
4 Whitesun's Passage
4 Condemn
(Note: Links have been set to take you to the Amazon page for the above cards. You might be able to find them cheaper on ebay or through trades/sales at your local shops.)
This deck was inspired by Kathleen from Loading Ready Run (here). The group did a video about Magic the Gathering where Kathleen wins with the "Angry Kitty" deck. I decided I wanted to make a kitty deck too, especially after finding out that Kathleen's wasn't legal for tournament play. :( So, I made this deck, and yes, the husband made some suggestions. All the creatures are cat creatures. In play-testing the deck, Philip joked about it being the Cats-Must-Survive deck. This then evolved into the PMS deck: Pussycat Must Survive! Now, I don't promise great results from this deck, but it's a ton of fun to play, and that's what matters to me.
For next month I'm going to work on the Sexy Vampires Don't Sparkle deck. See you then!
20 Plains
3 Ajani Goldmane
4 Ajani's Pridemate
4 Ajani's Mantra
2 Kemba, Kha Regent
4 Kemba's Skyguard
3 Leonin Arbiter
4 Abuna Acolyte
4 Silvercoat Lion
2 Sword of Body and Mind
3 Pacifism
4 Solemn Offering
2 Silence
3 Soul Parry
4 Seize the Initiative
Side board:
4 Revoke Existence
4 Whitesun's Passage
4 Condemn
(Note: Links have been set to take you to the Amazon page for the above cards. You might be able to find them cheaper on ebay or through trades/sales at your local shops.)
This deck was inspired by Kathleen from Loading Ready Run (here). The group did a video about Magic the Gathering where Kathleen wins with the "Angry Kitty" deck. I decided I wanted to make a kitty deck too, especially after finding out that Kathleen's wasn't legal for tournament play. :( So, I made this deck, and yes, the husband made some suggestions. All the creatures are cat creatures. In play-testing the deck, Philip joked about it being the Cats-Must-Survive deck. This then evolved into the PMS deck: Pussycat Must Survive! Now, I don't promise great results from this deck, but it's a ton of fun to play, and that's what matters to me.
For next month I'm going to work on the Sexy Vampires Don't Sparkle deck. See you then!
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