Words of Wisdom

So... Tomorrow's my birthday! Woot! I'm turning 24... and it has been quite the year. I don't know if I feel older or wiser or what not, but I thought it would be fun to give you wonderful people 24 pieces of wisdom that I have gleaned from my years as a gamer-wife.

So here it is, 24 things I have learned from video games
(in no real order)

1. Being a princess is nice, but you always get captured by some ugly lizard/dinosaur thing or trapped in a tower. I'd rather wear a really awesome weaponized suit, roll into a ball, and kick some butt instead of waiting for an Italian plumber to save me.
2. When dealing with any sort of undead type creature: shoot it in the head. Then remove said head and burn it all... just in case.
3. No matter how many times they make World War II into a video game... the Allies still won.
4. I am a much better driver when I'm in a go-cart and have banana peels to through at people.
5. Never pass up a chance to get extra lives, coins, fruit, weapons, or gold rings... in fact, hoard everything, because the second you pass up that banana peel, you'll have Yoshi tailgating you and no way to get rid of him.
6. If you live in a magical world, listen to fairy... otherwise she won't shut up. If you live in the real world and see/hear a magical fairy... seek help.
7. Throw bombs in the bushes. That's where the cool pokemon live.
8. Watch out for your allies, they may seem incredibly annoying with their constant "Help me, Fox" but they're nice to have at the boss battle.
9. There is always a boss battle.
10. If you get to a really hard enemy, but you have everything you need to defeat him, that's not the boss. He's the boss's kid brother and now that you have no ammo left, the real boss is coming.
11. Big boobs only bounce when standing still.
12. If the story has you losing this battle, it doesn't matter what level you are, you will loose... it's just destiny (or how the game was written).
13. Always level early on. You can never be too prepared.
14. If you can pick it up, do so. You never know when you'll run into someone who will pay big bucks for that scrap metal you've been hoarding.
15. The die rolls are random, no matter how much it seems like the AI is cheating.
16. You can never have enough wheat... or ore.
17. The enemy is always at the top of the tower, or the back of the dungeon.
18. Animal friends aren't just cute, they can be helpful too.
19. I am very directionally challenged, but great at reading maps!
20. Everyone loves the music when you win a battle, or achieve some great feat in the game.
21. Great stories last forever.
22. A game doesn't have to be incredibly complicated or have the best graphics to bring a smile to your face.
23. Motion controls make you look stupid. So play with a friend, because when you both look stupid, it's fun.
24. The point of a game is to entertain you. It doesn't matter how many times you died, how long it took you to finish an area, or how many trophies you won. If you enjoyed your time, it was all worth it.

Well, that's that. Happy Birthday to me and Happy New Year to all of you out there!

Blombs

Shout out to Javier L, one of the creators of Blombs! One of my readers makes games- how cool! I tried to play said game, but my touch is super old and won't play it. :( But, as a reader, Javier's game gets a thumbs up on principle!

Magic the Gathering

This summer my Gamer taught my to play Magic the Gathering (MTG).  MTG is a card game where you attack one another through various spells and summoning creatures.

MTG has that stigma of being played by man-children who live in the momma's basements, and well, that is a little bit true. To be honest, I wasn't too thrilled to learn to play, but Philip had taken it up again and was spending quite a bit of time on the game. So... as a good gamer-wife I thought I should at least learn the basics of the game so I could tell what was going on.

Now here's what happened, I got awfully frustrated learning to play the game, but now that I have the hang of it, I actually like it! It takes a bit of time to get used to, and I'm not very good, but I have a lot of fun with the game.

What's this boil down to for you? Well, if your guy plays, you might want to pick it up. You can't beat how much fun you'll have the first time you beat him and it's actually a really fun strategy game!

You can find some cards to get started here.

Meet Simon Belmont

We got a kitten! He's six and a half weeks old. Some friends took in a litter of strays and we chose this little guy. He's as feisty and mischievous as they come, but he can also be such a little cuddle bug.

TV Review: The Walking Dead

Airing on AMC beginning on 10/31/2010

Ok so... my husband's a big fan on the comic book series and he was really excited to see the book made into a TV series. On Halloween night (after a very long day including my car being totaled -not my fault btw-), we went to the local comics shop to watch the premiere. Everyone was really excited, especially those who had read the books (I have not). I made a jell-o brain (my best yet!) and we had pizza and snacks as we got ready to watch the show.

So the show starts and of course, we see some guy walking about trying to find gas and he comes across a creepy looking girl, and yes, she's a zombie. Then we flashed back to before the outbreak and find out cop friend living his daily life. He gets shot trying to take down a bad guy (sad face). And wouldn't you know, he's in a coma. He wakes from his coma to find the hospital abandoned and rows of bodies on the lawn. He meets his fist few zombies and then is saved by some survivors who clue him in to all that's gone on.

These survivors tell him of a place near by that is supposed to be safe from infection and protected by the military or what not. And our new survivor cop friend is set on heading to Atlanta (the "Safe" place) in hopes of reuniting with his family.

Ok, so I don't want to go any further because I don't want to ruin anything if you plan to watch the show for yourself and you're like me and hate people ruining your TV shows. But basically, it's a good show, but the first episode was the same basic outline of the beginning of any zombie story. I'm still gonna watch it. You might want to yourself if you like zombies. Rawr!

Your Gamer Funny for the Day

From: http://noms.icanhascheezburger.com/2010/10/05/funny-food-photos-cake-paradox/

Afternoon Quickie: Halo Reach

Ok so... It shouldn't be too much of a surprise that I'm not a huge first person shooter fan, and well Halo is one of those games that I just don't get. Perhaps it's my lack of military strategy or that fact that I just don't have much a desire to shoot things, but I really don't see how such games are fun. But we're not talking about playing it, we're talking about watching it. I reference my lack of military strategy and say, I have no freaking clue what's going on in this game. I suppose that there's a task at hand and some sort of story line, but I don't follow. All I see are a bunch of figures running about and shooting things. So for the Wifey Watchability Test, it fails, rather miserably. But I don't really blame the game here... I think I am just Halo-stupid. The series is vastly popular so I assume there's something to it, but it is just over my head.

You Know You're A Gamer Girlfriend When...

...You plan your conversation around the load screens in a mario game.

...You start telling your guy to pause the game for dinner twenty minutes before dinner will actually be ready.

...You know what cosplay and LARPing are and have actually looked for and/or worn costumes.

...You know how long you have to dash in front of the TV during the save screen.

...You know where each controller is in your house.

...You know the difference between an XBox and a PS3 cord.

...You have successfully managed to plug in ten plugs in one outlet.

...You know the layout of your local GameStop, BestBuy, RadioShack, and comic book shop.

...You have spent at least ten hours of your life looking for batteries.

...You can recognize which anime is on even if it's in Japanese.

...You have been to at least one midnight release when you had to get up early the next day.

...You have picked up your guy's game while he's at work or out of town.

...At least one shelf of our bookcase is dedicated to strategy guides.

...You can tell the difference between a regular and collector's edition strategy guide.

...You have incorporated at least one type of video game collector's piece into each room of the house.

...You can name at least 7 Mario characters.

...You have tried to learn to play his favorite game without him knowing, and maybe even succeeded.

...You have read a strategy guide out of boredom.

...You have used your "womanly wiles" to distract him from his game... and actually succeeded!

Gamer Funny for you!

Found here: http://verydemotivational.com/2010/09/15/demotivational-posters-in-soviet-russia-6/

Afternoon Quickie: Castlevania Harmony of Despair

Played on: XBox 360

The Gamer is a huge fan of this series, even collects and sometimes plays the older games. Therefore, he was very much looking forward to this release. You can play on your own or in teams online. He seems to favor the online play. So, let me explain a little more here. In online play, your team captain (I don't know what they call it, but that's what it is) chooses which Chapter of the story (level) you want to play. You all then fight through the level and beat the boss gaining equipment as you go. The game has multiple characters and each character has their own stuff you can get for them. I don't really know much about the characters other than one's name is Soma and it makes me think of A Brave New World each time I heard it and then the soma poem gets stuck in my head. But, anywho...

So, let's start with what I like about the game. First, it has Dracula in it. I'm a fan of Dracula and find that to be pretty cool. Second, the music has a gothic rock opera sound which I very much like and greatly appreciate for its departure from the norm. Here's what I don't like. I have seen the level where you fight Dracula (Chapter 6, I believe) about 1,337 times. While the music is still pretty awesome and Dracula still scores some cool points, I just don't get how playing the same level over and over again can be entertaining.

Now, before you gamers get all upset, and before you girlfriends start dreading this game, here is a valuable tool. My gamer has this great headset, which I'm pretty sure I've mentioned before. Not only does it allow him to hear and speak with other players, but it also carries all the sounds from the game straight to his headset. This allows him to mute the TV and play the game through his headset. I can then play some music or watch something on my laptop without hearing Dracula's two corny lines every ten minutes. He gets to be happy playing with his friends and getting all the gear and what not and I get to listen to some old school 1960's Jazz.  Here's a link to said headset:


[P.S.- If you are a high enough level geek-wife to find the hidden joke, you get a brownie point.]

Gamer Did Good...

Another Good Game Gamer! So, he picks me up with sunflowers on the seat for me. (My favorite flower, BTW). He then helps to clean so that the apartment will be ready for friends that evening, and.... he helped to make dinner! Gg Gamer!

New Drawing!

Alrighty so...


To get back into the swing of things, we have a new drawing! However, to find out more, you must visit the Facebook page! Become a fan and find out how to win our new awesome prize!

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Gamer-Girlfriend-Reviews/100566506639

(The suspense is killing me and I already know what it is!)

Review: Lego Harry Potter Years 1-4

Played on: PS3

So basically, it's Harry Potter but with Lego people. Just like all the other Lego games, but it follows the basic sketch of the Harry Potter series. It does a brief drive by of the book, and a decent skimming of the movies, in case you're a HP fan and wanted to know the extent the story was covered. But hey, they cover four books within one game. That's pretty good, and so far, they've done a better job of sticking to the story than what's-his-face did of sticking to the book in the 6th movie... but that's for another time.

Visuals:
Well, they're Lego people in a Lego world, so it's not very realistic, unless of course you are a Lego person and I just don't know it. O.o Anywho, it still looks really cool. I've thought all the Lego games look cool. The castle and all the magic looks rather awesome in Lego blocks and Lego Fang is adorable. Lego Cat Hermione is also pretty neat. It's not particularly movie-esque, but you can still follow the story line pretty well. There are some cut scenes, but they're still Lego people and they don't ever talk, just grunt which cuts down the movie-ness of the cut scenes quite a bit. Still, Harry Potter stories in Lego people are pretty freaking neat.

Audio:
If you love the Harry Potter theme song, and I mean LOVE, then boy do I have a game for you! You can hear the theme song slow and creepy, fast and cheerful, soft and romantic, or sweet and sincere. You can hear the theme song played by flute, harp, drums, cow bell, nails on chalkboard... Ok, maybe it's not that bad, and I do really like the HP theme, but my goodness that's a lot of one song. It's like having a song stuck in your head for days, because, of course, the song does get stuck in your head after hearing it for seven hours.

Another aspect of the audio that's a bit of an annoyance is that there are no voices. I get it, they're Lego people, but they have mouths, maybe they could talk? No voice box maybe? Well, they grunt and hmm-mmm every few minutes so they can make sounds. Did no one ever teach poor little Lego witches and wizards to speak? Harry can speak snake language, but not English. Maybe they just wanted to save money on translations...

Involvement:
There are some parts where you can help your guy in the game, and well, it's Harry freaking Potter, I know this story inside and out. Even if your boy doesn't want help, you can watch the game and find all the areas that are different from the books and movies! (Just a side note, if you haven't read the HP books, turn off your computer, go the nearest bookstore/library and start reading you uncultured Muggle!)

So yeah... you can play with two people. I have yet to try this out, but I'm sure I will one day. It looks like it would be fun to play together and the game is made for children so it should be a good starter for the less experienced gamer girlfriend.

Overall:
This game is really cute if for no other reason than it's Harry Potter in Lego form. It's alright to watch, but if you are one of the misfortunate diseased few that don't like Harry Potter (sadly, these people do exist) then you probably won't like watching this game. If, however, you are a sane and normal person you will easily be able to watch this game for hours, for no other reason than to relive the awesome power that is the world of Harry Potter.

Gotta go catch some garden gnomes... see you later!

So yeah...

The month of July, that happened... Well, it's August now. If you're upset that I didn't post last month, maybe you should pay me, or offer me bribes of some sort. Maybe then I'd post more. Or, I could take your bribe and still not post. That would work too. Oh well, time to make up for missing a month. :D

Your funny for the day (because I'm still in class)

From: http://bobshouseofvideogames.com/2010/06/08/video-games-lols-bring-your-child-to-work-day/

Afternoon Quickie: Red Dead Redemption

XBox 260 and PS3

So, I really haven't watched much of this game, but I think I get the gist of it. You are some sort of cowboy type character. You run around and do missions and kill people. I assume there exists an overarching plot line, but I'm not aware of it.

Here's what stands out to me. It's a little like an old style western. Quite dramatic but rather rugged. It looks rather cool as far as the graphics go, but it's just not all that pretty to watch. As far as game play goes there are gunfights and whatnot that are common to games like this, but you get to watch the character ride a horse all over the place and that's pretty neat. Probably the worst thing I noticed in the game was the skinning of dead animals. You don't just skin the animal to sell the pelt, the game shows the corpse of the animal all fleshy and skinless and that's just plain nasty.

So, does it pass the Wifey Watchability Test? Eh, I guess so. It's a little gross, and it's a bit boring, but really nothing special to report from me.

Drawing Winner!

Congrats to Jonathan for winning an amazing Companion Cube pillow!

Afternoon Quickie: Alan Wake

Ok so it's not the afternoon, we thought that this supposedly spooky game would be better suited for later evening. Yeah... maybe I should have tried at like 3 am and being completely sleep deprived.... Yeah so... have you ever seen the Blair Witch Project? How about Secret Window? Combine the two, add in some Energizer batteries and you have yourself a video game! It's really quite sad that the story is so sucky, cuz it looks like a pretty well designed game. I could read the Sync by Microsoft perfectly while they were driving in the car! So anywho... Gamer has been playing this game for about an hour and I'm going to go do laundry.


Did it pass the Wifey Watchability Test? It didn't even wake up in time for the exam.

Online Console Gaming

So my lovely husband got Street Fighter a little while back. He got it for two reasons. One, he has always liked the series. Two, he wanted to play online with his best friend. While I haven't gotten to see much him playing Street Fighter (probably because I compared it to West Side Story, read here). But, I have seen him play many online console games. He's got a great headset for the XBox that makes the game completely silent, minus his yelling at the TV/other people, and that makes for a happy wifey. However, I have had difficulty understanding the whole online console game stuff. I mean, what ever happened to going over to your friend's house to play?

But then, I had a revelation!

When I was in elementary school, one of my favorite t.v. shows was Buffy the Vampire Slayer. (Mind you, this was back when vampires died in the sunlight). My best friend Nicole and I would watch the show every week, and we would watch it together. However, we couldn't always go over to one another's house to watch it together so we would talk to each other over the phone during the commercials and just not hang up until the show was over. That way we could watch it together without having to be in the same place. Later, when I was in middle school, my friend Shauna and I would watch TRL together. (Mind you, this was when MTV still played music videos.) Now, we both loved Korn. At the time that I am remembering, the song "Somebody Someone" was really popular. Shauna and I would watch TRL while talking on the phone and waiting for "Somebody Someone" to be played.

And now, I understand online console gaming. Online console gaming isn't all that different than when Nicole or Shauna and I would sit and talk to each other while watch TV. Really the only difference is that you're controlling what's on the screen. The point isn't really to play the game with other people, but to spend time with your friends.

Ladies, this is a very important point, pay attention. Your gamer, sitting on the couch talking smack-talk to his friends and playing some ridiculous game, is basically doing the same thing that we do when we sit and talk on the phone/skype/chat while painting our toe nails. It is simply a bond-building activity for male gamers and is necessary for healthy socializing.

Now, gentlemen, you are likely to object to my rather emasculating opinion of your fine past-time. To alleviate any negative feelings, may I offer a suggestion? If you play it off to your girl that your online game play is an intricate bonding experience that is necessary for the maintenance of healthy male relationships, she might be more likely to give you more uninterrupted game play. (I say might. I don't know your girl and I can't speak for her, but generally, this should work.)

Ladies... if your guy tries to pulls the above ruse, just remember, his XBox doesn't keep his bed warm at night. You have your feminine wiles, and sometimes a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do.

April Movies

The summer movie season is upon us, and yes, this is a blog about video games, I am aware. (And that was one crazy bad sentence; deal.) I thought, as your cyber-neighborhood geek-girl mediator, I should recommend some good geek-ish movies. Here's my list of movie since April that I have seen and would, or would not, recommend and why:

• Clash of the Titans- decent movie, saw it in 3D, wasted money; Go see this as a matinee or when a friend is paying and don't waste the money on 3D. It was good, but not great and there really wasn't much of a difference between standard and 3D.
• Kick-Ass- bloody, violent, tons of nasty language, some sex scenes; DO NOT TAKE CHILDREN TO THIS MOVIE! I feel kinda dumb having to tell people that, but there was a 5-year-old watching this movie in the row in front of me. It is a great movie and if you are into comic books, you will love it. The flow is very comic-like (meaning a bit choppy) and the characters are very stereotypical and overdone, but it was a great movie. This is not for people who don't like a lot of violence, language, or who cannot take it with a large grain of salt. (Reminder: it's fictional. The 12 year old girl is not actually killing drug dealers with swords.)
• The Losers- Another comic book movie. Good, but not great. Violent and sex scenes, but not nearly as much as Kick-Ass. It's a good story and a really fun movie. If you aren't a comic book type person, this probably won't be your type of movie. There are other comic book movies that would be better to start with, such as Iron Man or Ghost Rider.
• Iron Man 2- We saw this as a midnight release. I would highly recommend. There is of course violence and some sexuality, but you could take the kids (probably not the 4 and 5 year olds, but middle and older kids should be fine). It's a great movie and a great first movie based on a comic book. The characters are bit unrealistic and strange, but other than that, you can't really tell it's based on a comic. If you haven't seen Iron Man, the first one yet, see that first.

There you have it. Four movies out within the last month that most gamer-type guys would like to see and that non-gamer-girls could potentially enjoy (based on your level of gamer-girlfriend experience).

Hey by the way...

GO ENTER THE DRAWING!!!!

http://gamergf.blogspot.com/2010/04/new-drawing.html

Another Late Night Boob Rant

So... I was going to write about the obscene and strange nature of the Record of Agarest War Limited Edition. But, at first I couldn't remember the game's name. The only thing I remembered about it was that it came with a mouse pad that has breasts. Now you may be asking yourself "Why does an XBox game need a mouse pad?" And that's a good question. The better question is "WTF! Why are there boobs on that #@%$ing mousepad?" And so, I was going to go on a random rant about the video game world's obsession with breasts and how all these pasty-faced white boys living in their momma's basement have unrealistic views of breasts and if they ever got their hands on a real one, they'd probably die of shock, but I couldn't remember the game's name.

So I googled "mouse pads with breasts". (Take a second, read that line again, giggle a bit, and continue.)

I was googling and trying to find the name of this game and came upon 82,300 results, most of which are companies who sell mouse pads with "ergonomic" breasts for support! Most of the women featured on these products (still not sure if I should call them mouse pads, sex toys, or freaky fetish dolls) feature anime characters or adult movie stars; all with substantially large breasts... to support your wrists... or something.

Here's the real irony in all of this... Gigantic breasts are not ergonomic or supportive. In fact, they require large medieval devices into to be supported! In proportion to the photos on these mouse pads, some of these girls have breasts that are each larger than their heads. Pamela Anderson didn't even hit those proportions! Now I realize that reality is so far gone from the designers of these products. They make gel filled breasts that make even the worst implants feel like homegrown, and really, the idiotic men who will buy one of these mouse pads because they're cheaper than blow-up dolls will probably never care.

But for goodness sake they are breasts. Every female (and many males) have them! Your mother has breasts, and your grandmother, and great-grandmother. Why must their be gigantic breasts all of the place? Perhaps it is simply my inner feminist rearing her shaved GI Jane head, but this just seems out right crazy to me. These Freudian artifacts are just down right creepy, and I don't really have anything to say about the game...

HAHA

Found here: http://failbook.com/2010/04/25/funny-facebook-fails-explains-why-kratos-was-single/

New Drawing!

For a chance to win a Companion Cube pillow worth $50 based off of Portal!

What makes your gamer a good protector during the zombie apocalypse?

(Or, if you're a gamer, what makes you a good protector?)

This week's prize, provided by Bellapoms!

She has adorable gamer items that will blow your mind! Check her shop out for some wonderful items!
http://www.etsy.com/shop/Bellapoms

Gamer Girlfriends Live Longer

How being a Gamer Girlfriend will lengthen your lifespan:

1- Gaming has taught the gamer to horde any possibly useful items. As long as there is room to store it, you will never run out of band-aids, herbs, medicines, ammo, or potential items to sell.

2- Gaming has given the gamer lessons in home and personal security. Games have taught gamers how easy it is to be pick-pocketed and this awareness makes them slightly paranoid about their personal possessions. Certain games have also taught gamers what to look for in robbing homes and stealing cars (for same games, this is their name sake). Therefore, your gamer is aptly able to point out potential areas for entry for any thief.

3- If ever stranded on a boat or in a plane without a pilot, your gamer will know how to operate the vehicle.  Gamers are skilled in running various types of machinery. Need proof? Watch this movie.

4- If you are ever accidently transported into the past, your gamer will be able to navigate the rules of that society. Gamers are schooled in a variety of cultures from ancient times to far into the future. Your gamer will be able to guide you in the norms of the time.

5- If any sort of war or violent conflict is to arise, your gamer is skilled in the use of many weapons. From a bow and arrow to an AK-47, your gamer knows how to use, maintain, and repair any weapon.

6- In case of a zombie apocalypse, your gamer will have a plan. Your gamer will also know that the only way to kill such zombies is by shooting them in the head.

In the end, each of these skills that your gamer has acquired has led him to be the perfect protector during the zombie apocalypse. Your gamer has stock piles of supplies, knows how to break into other areas in order to gain more supplies, can operate a variety of vehicles in order to escape the undead, can guide you through other societies as you time travel out of the land of the brain-eaters, and is then able to use any weapon he comes across to kill any zombies that follow you.

In short, by dating a gamer, you are ensuring your ability to survive should the undead attack thus expanding your lifespan.

Our New Pets!

The votes are in! (Not many people voted though...) You have chosen for us to get two kittens, a black one and white one and name them Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow! Go G.I. Joe! (Now... we just need to get a bigger place so that we can get two cats and we have to find away for them to not kill Bruce...)

Awesome!

From Here.

Opinions please!

 Ok so I've been thinking. One day when I'm no longer in school and we get to move into a nice house with a white picket fence, I want a dog, make that dogs. I was thinking a little corgi named Ein and a Golden named Edward would be a great pair.  For those of you who don't know, we have a chinchilla named Bruce Wayne. Obviously we like geekery-themed animal names.

Here's where you come in! What name would you give to what type of pet? For instance, a pet tarantula named Peter Parker (just a thought).  Help a sister out and give me some pet names!

(In case you are unlucky enough to not get my Ein and Edward reference click here.)

So, uh... yeah...

Well, I went on vacation and then I posted when I got back but then I disappeared again. Well, I have been swallowed by the great whale of grad school. Luckily the whale also swallowed a wireless network! ;)
 So... What's been going on? Philip's been playing some great games and some not so great games. He's finished Heavy Rain. He's also been playing the new Pokemon game on the DS and walking around with the little Pokewalker thingamig. It's actually rather cute when he gets around his friends and they're playing with their Pokemon toys like my friends and I did with our Tamegochis in middle school! Recently he's also been playing some more Metal Gear Solid 4: Guns of the Patriots. I do still plan to write some more reviews. I promise. Really. I mean it. I just have no idea as to when. In fact, right now I am in class and just not all that focused. BTW- I have our next drawing item. It's a great item from the world of Portal! Hopefully I will get some more posted this weekend, but don't hold me to it. I will be better able to post in about 5 weeks when school's out.

Miss Me?

Haha... so, I went on vacation! I had every intention of telling you before hand, but... that didn't happen. I went to San Antonio for a conference (great conference, iffy relations) and then I went to Florida to see my family! I got a wee bit of a sunburn and got bitten by a stingray all in one day! I had a lot of fun and am now in the airport on my way back to the Lonestar State. Philip picked up two rare games already in FL, and we're stopping at some Play-N-Trade's in the DFW area to look for some more. (Gamers, you can take them away from the system, but that just makes them cranky.) I also got some really cute shoes that are squishing my toes, but that's a bit off topic. Anywhos... I'm getting a bit hungry and we start boarding in a bit so I'm gonna go. Oh! Our last drawing winner was Sarah! I'll set the next one up once I get back home and get some sleep.

So...

Last night Philip started playing Heavy Rain and I was going to post my first impression of the game yesterday evening. That obviously didn't happen. So... here it is: Go buy this game! If you don't have a PS3, go buy one so that you can buy this game! I never posted last  night because I was too busy watching the game. I want to know who the origami killer is! This game is like a video-game-orgasm... you just keep coming back saying, "please sir, may I have some more." Seriously... go now to your closest gamer or electronic store and buy this game. Now.


Btw- Why hasn't anyone entered this week's drawing? I'd really like to know.

Drawing #3!

Woot! I really hope you all are enjoying the drawings! We've got some great people who are supplying the prizes. Tell all your friends to stop by each Sunday to enter the new drawing!

Here's this week's prize: A gift certificate for $5 off a purchase of $10 or more from JennJennD!
She has a ton a great jewelry, charms, and iPod cases! These are great for all Gamer Girlfriends! You can find her shop here.


What's the question? That's a good question! ;)

Who is your favorite video game character of all time?

Drawing #2 Winner!

Congrats James! You have won the Mario Mushroom Pillow!

A special Thanks to AzureeAlice for supplying this awesome prize!

Now James, you can't win next week, but Kat, you're back in the running!

Princess Peach reminds you to enter the drawing!

Only One Day Left!!!

Afternoon Quickie: Street Fighter

So... I won't limit myself to any specific Street Fighter as I have basically the same opinion of them all. Street Fighter is how pasty-faced gamer boys get out their aggression. These boys aren't going to go out and start fights all West Side Story style (they don't have the grace nor the body to pull off the tights). So what do they do? They mash buttons. If they're in an arcade, they mash bigger buttons. Street Fighter, I would say if anger management for the gamer crowd. Supposedly there is some sort of story, but who knows what it is. There's a lot of noise and not of all it is in English. Most of the time, they're just yelling at each other (the snapping and songs from West Side).  Now, the game has some risque parts. When one of the girls jumps up, you get a panty shot (compare this to the low-cut shirts of the Puerto Rican chicas). Basically what I'm saying is that Street Fighter is like a Japanese game version of West Side Story. No one knows why the characters want to fight each other, but they do and they make a lot of noise in the process.


Now to sit back and watch all the gamer's freak out that I just compared one of the most beloved video games of all time to a musical...

  

Wuv...

Firefox Users...

Apparently, some people have been having trouble posting comments when using Firefox. I don't know why. If you have another internet browser that you can use, that seems to be helping. If you're still having trouble, you can e-mail me at gamergfreviews@gmail.com. Hopefully this gets fixed soon.

Here's Blogger's help page for Firefox. I hope it helps. :/

http://www.google.com/support/forum/p/blogger/thread?tid=404021184343784d&hl=en

New Drawing!

Alrighty then... Congrats to Kat for winning the last drawing! Now it's time for a new one! Here is this week's question: What was the first video game you ever played (or watched)?

This week's prize is SUPER exciting! It comes from a really fun-guy... It's a Mario Mushroom! Supplied by AzureeAlice! You can find her Etsy shop here. She has some great gamer/geeky type items as well as really adorable goth/punk type jewelry.

Remember: You must sign-in or put your name in your comment. You have one week. Kat, feel free to answer, but sorry, you can't win this week. :(

Drawing #1 Winner!

And the Winner is..... KAT! Congrats Kat! Please e-mail me at gamergfreviews@gmail.com to receive your gift certificate!

Here's how the winner/prize-getting will work. You cannot win two weeks in a row. The winner has one week to contact me to arrange for their prize to be sent to them. If they don't respond within one week, they forfeit and I will draw again from the entries for that week.

I got a lot of really good feedback about this first drawing. Keep it coming! I want this to be a fun way to get your involved and to help promote the blog and those who donate the items.

Would you kindly...

Remember to answer the drawing question!

Gamer did good...

Heavy Rain Demo

The Heavy Rain demo was released yesterday. The thing with demos is, like movie previews, they only show the very best stuff. That being said, I am super excited for this game! If the actual game is only 50% as awesome as the demo then it would still rock. The game is visually stunning. The cut scenes are interactive (I know, that doesn't sound right, just play through the demo and you'll see what I'm talking about). The controls are unique and engaging. The sound of the rain is soothing. There are chances for you to help your guy with certain aspects of the game (including understanding the controls, they are a bit tricky). Plus, the game is played from a variety of perspectives. The demo passes the Wifey Watchability Test without hesitation and I have great hope for the game! (Finally a game that might just live up to "so real your girlfriend thinks it's a movie" commercial.")

Kitten watching Bioshock 2!

Well, maybe not, but I wouldn't be surprised!

Review: Bioshock 2

Played on Playstation 3

In this game you are a Big Daddy, but not a Big Daddy. You're like the extra special Big Daddy who's all special because you're a clone or something. To be perfectly frank, the story doesn't make a lick of sense to me. To read all about the history of the Bioshock universe and the story from the first game, read this.

Visuals:

There are two sides to the visuals in this game, gory and gritty, and then creepy and gritty. You live in this world under the ocean. It has a bit of a 1950's run down post-apocalyptic look to it (basically, everything looks cool but is falling apart). There are a bunch of neat little signs and posters that are pretty entertaining. The game has a really gritty feel, but being underwater, there are some parts like look really cool, particularly when you're able to look into the ocean and see sharks and giant squid swimming by. Ok, I said gory. There's a lot of gore. I mean, you run a giant drill through people, and there's no way around that kind of mess. Now for the creepy. You're trying to find your daughter/Little Sister (it sounds like inbreeding but I've been reassured that it's not). These little girls have bright glowing eye sockets, stick needles in people and then suck out what the needle collects. At the beginning of the game, there are lots of chalk drawings everywhere which adds to the air of weirdness.

As far as watching the story-line goes, I'm just plain confused. There are a few cutscenes, but a lot of the story is told through voice messages. Even the parts that I do follow, don't really seem to clarify the situation. Perhaps I just missed something somewhere...

Audio:

There isn't much in the way of soundtrack. There is a pretty constant sound of running water so as long you have an empty bladder, it's pretty relaxing. The fights do get a bit loud as you run the drill through your enemies. The previously mentioned voice messages are pretty cool as the people have neat accents. To add to the creepy factor, the Little Sisters have creepy little horror movie voices.

Involvement:

The most involvement opportunity I see is for your boy to spend an hour trying to explain the story to you. There are some cool advertisements in the game for which you can be on the look out, but there's just not much for a second person to do.

Overall:

Ok so, the story line is my biggest hang up. I just don't get it. If you can, read up on the story before watching this game, and I would even suggest watching the first one before hand. So, does it pass the Wifey Watchability Test? Yes and no. Here's the deal, if you are a new gamer-girlfriend/wife, this game will probably be too much for you. However, if you are able to get past the gore (and have some knowledge of the story-line), an experienced gamer girlfriend/wife will be able to appreciate this game for what it is. It is a beautifully put together psychological suspense/horror movie made into game form. While creepy, the creepiness is also really cool! (Once again, for the experienced gamer gf, those without a history of desensitization will probably freak out if exposed to those game.)

SO, do I like it? Kinda. Could I watch it for hours on end? Probably not. Will you like it? Maybe.

Our First Give-Away Drawing!

Whoot! I'm excited, and I hope you are too! I've got some great give-away items lined up and I think you're gonna be excited too!

Here's how this will work. I will post a question and to enter the drawing, you will answer the question. Pretty simple huh? Make sure you include your name or blogspot ID so that I can have some way of identifying you. I will put all the names in our Mario hat (seems the most fitting) and then draw a winner. I will then e-mail the winner to get their info to send them their prize! These prizes have been donated by sellers from Etsy.com. I encourage you to check out their shops even if you don't win.

Our first prize is a gift certificate for $10 to Little Spaniel's Crafts. You can find her Etsy shop here: Little Spaniel's Crafts. She makes some really cute crocheted items including a full checkers set! She also makes charms, dog treats, and bath and body products. She's got a little something for everyone.

Here's the question:

What video game related topic do you and your gamer argue about most often? (Boys, you can answer too.)

**Remember to sign in or leave your name!

Exciting News!

Ok everyone, starting soon we will be having drawings for great gamer fan gear and gift certificates! These will be free drawings to enter. At most they will require you to answer some cool question like "What's your favorite game?" Be looking for some more info soon.

Late night ramblings...

Ok so, my wonderful husband brought home a very perplexing game the other day, Bayonetta. In this game you are this witch type person and you're fighting the angels or whatever. Here's my description of Bayonetta: eleven feet tall, 87 pounds, boobs the size of prize-winning watermelons, 10 inch heels and black cat suit. Now, if you're thinking to yourself, "What makes her any different from any other woman in a video game?" I'd say very, very little.

Women in video games really kinda tick me off. Now this isn't because of some deep-seeded feminism or jealousy issue. Rather, they bug me because there is no possible way these girls could live, let alone kick ass. These girls are so skinny they don't even have room for a uterus and their breasts are so large that they need their own time zone! I mean for goodness sakes the computer that animates their movements must be freaking out! DOES NOT COMPUTE... BOOBS TOO BIG... CANNOT MAKE WALK... DOES NOT COMPUTE!

Ok, so, I digress... What makes Bayonetta different from every other big boobed booty-kicker? She freaking rocks! Ok so, the angels cut off her clothes in like the first 5 minutes (yippee for pseudo-porn in video games) but then her hair turns into a catsuit! Her glasses have butterfly wings and when she does a double jump she sprout butterfly wings! How cute it that! To top it all off... she shoots her guns with her heels. That right there is a skill that all little girls can admire!

I guess what I'm saying is that video games rarely depict any female under the age of 90 in a realistic manner, but Bayonetta is just so damn awesome that I don't care anymore.

Oh the gameplay, right... um, well... I was distracted by the awesomeness that is Bayonetta. Sorry.

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So, I thought I was ready to go to bed after that, posted it, brushed my teeth, kissed the husband goodnight, and realized, that's not all.

Bayonetta, she's freaking awesome. But she's only one girl out of the entire video game world! And don't even get me started on Anime! I think they go even farther simply because they can draw it be hand and don't have to worry about computers blowing up trying to calculate a bra strong enough to support those triple Z's!

For example, in Bleach you have this chic, Rangiku Matsumoto. Her breasts are the size of hogs that feed an entire African village for a year! And if you've ever seen the show, there's nothing to support those puppies! (Great Dane puppies). Once again, she's got another itty bitty waist. How her back doesn't break in half, I will never know!

I remember being a kid and people all over the world were getting all in an uproar because Barbie wasn't realistically proportional. These video game and anime women must be straight out of Picasso! They don't have Sir Mix A Lot's 34-26-32 ratio, they have some sort of gamer boy's wet dream over 9000-2-5500 ratio.

Maybe it's just the industry. Maybe it doesn't matter. I'm not one of those video games make kids violent types, so does it even matter what the women look like? Like I said before, I don't really think it's objectifying women, God of War does plenty of that. I just don't like it. There is just something wrong with these gigantic breasts, specially when they jiggle for hours on end. For example, miss what's-her-face from Bleach. There was a fighting game for the Wii that was basically Street Fighter but with Bleach characters. When she fought, her boobs jiggled for another ten minutes after she stopped moving! Seriously, her boobs didn't stop jiggling until after the game switched to another screen. I'm not even sure if they ever stopped jiggling... God that would hurt!

Well, I mentioned God of War. I guess I should explain that. So, in the first God of War at some point you get rewarded with trophy wenches. And yes, you have sex with them, in the game, with audio. Now, in true video-game-pseudo-porn style, you don't see any activity, but you see the vase on the night stand shake like an earthquake just hit and you hear everything, EVERYTHING! It's like when your college roommate's boyfriend got back from football camp. It totally gave me the creeps!

Ok, not that is one thing that I can truly say I don't like about video games and my little inner feminist gets all riled up over this. Why must there be so much sexuality in video games? I just don't get it! Your testosterone is already through the roof from slaughtering thousands, what do you need naked women for? Maybe this is why so many gamers aren't getting out of their mom's basement. They don't even need to look for a date, they can get laid in the game!

I feel like an old Catholic school teacher saying that, but I mean, come on! Get out of the house, meet a nice girl in the comic shop (they show up occasionally, I promise). Take her out to dinner and a movie. Offer her your jacket when she's cold and maybe she just might be desperate enough.

Ok, now I understand most gamers aren't living in their mother's basement (the internet connection just isn't reliable enough) and most of you reading this have gamers who are in good committed relationships and at least have the potential of seeing a woman in the flesh once in their lifetime. Here's the thing, sexuality in video games it's a double edged sword. I started off talking about how much I love Bayonetta (and I do, she freaking rocks my pantyhose off!) but now I'm ranting about the obscene amount of sexuality that has flooded the video game world.

The truth is, I still love Bayonetta and my husband still plays God of War (he just doesn't subject me to the weird trophy wrench scene) and I don't have a problem with it. Yeah, it's easy to get all enraged over sexuality in video games, and yes, those girls need emergency breast reduction surgery, but the sexuality makes some games more entertaining. I would rather watch a game that's a bit juicy than watch a game that bores me to tears.

You know, I'm not really sure what my point is, and in fact, I don't think I have one. I think I have officially rambled. Perhaps now I can get some sleep (that 8 am class will be here sooner than Rangiku's bra).

Flashback: Mass Effect 1

Played on XBox 360

So, in this game you are some sort of dignitary mercenary combo. You go around to other planets and you do missions and kill things and meet with aliens. Your spaceship is piloted by "Joker" (aka Seth Green, I still have a bit of a thing for him left over from all those years of watching Buffy, but anywho...). There are some cool cut scenes where you get to see new aliens or learn something cool about the other species. The graphics are decent considering that it is an XBox game. There really isn't much of a soundtrack, but the fight scenes aren't loud or annoying enough to bring about any sort of strong emotion. Actually, I guess I could say that about the entire game so far... It's nice enough but the strongest emotion I have concerning it is that Seth Green made one good-looking werewolf (take that Twilight fans!)

Just a little something cute for you...

Afternoon Quickie: Army of Two The 40th Day

Played on: XBox 360

Ok so... you and a friend are mercenaries and you go around town shooting at people. You get to customize your weapons and wear weird masks and it's basically the same as every other game that's come out in that last so many years. You do have to make moral choices along the way, like will you kill your comrade on orders and what not, but that only takes a few seconds. I'm sure there's a story-line somewhere in there. The dialogue is basically the equivalent of a video game soap opera, you know exactly what's coming and the acting sucks.

So, does it pass the Wifey Watchability Test? Well, I can't really tell the difference between this and 30 other games, so I might not enjoy watching it, but I won't know if I'm watching Army of Two or one of the many other games that are exactly like it.

Facebook games

I've decided to review Facebook games, and this time from the perspective of a player (shocking I know!). You can read the first review on My Zoo here.

Now, I do need your help here! Send me links or invites to all of your favorite (or not so favorite) Facebook games. I'll give them a try a let you know what I think!

To help you out, I've set up a Facebook account that you can friend and send requests/invites to if you don't know me in person. (Sorry, but there are too many creeps for me to give you my real info.) You can find it here.

Afternoon Quickie: My Zoo on Facebook

If you're on Facebook, then it's very likely that you've been invited to play about 100 games on the site! Well, I thought I would take a second to review one of the games that I enjoy playing, My Zoo.

In My Zoo you build exhibits and start programs as if you were managing a real zoo. You have to earn money and manage marketing and ticket prices and you must ensure that your customers remain satisfied. After a while, you are able to bred endangered animals to help "stave off extinction".

The game is a lot of fun and mildly addicting. That is, until you get to the upper levels. Once you hit the upper levels the challenges are almost all based on how many animals you've bred. It can take a while to bred the animals and it can take even longer to bred enough to gain levels. Also, once you get to the upper levels, you unlock fewer animals/programs than you did at the earlier levels.

I still enjoy the game. I have to bred another six animals for my next level and I've been working on this level for about two weeks now, but I still like the game.

Article: Collectables

Most Gamers will have at least some collectables. Some will only collect pieces related to their favorite games, others will collect anything game related. If you're living with a gamer and have inherited their collectables you are probably thinking one of two things. 1. This isn't so bad... 2. Dear God in Heaven where did all of this come from?

If you're in that second category, here are a few tips that I have learned in my 2+ years of sharing a (relatively small) apartment with my Gamer and his collectables.

1. Be Careful! A lot of the collectors pieces will come with a game and then won't be made anymore. This means that if you break one of your guy's pieces you will probably have to go to ebay to replace it and will pay way too much.

2. Just because it's in its box doesn't mean it can't be broken. I've made this mistake. We have a couple of figures that have completely intact packaging and the leg is busted off and rattles around inside the closed box.

3. It may look like "junk" to you, but it has meaning to your gamer. Understand that what looks like it's just a piece of cloth is actually a headband from Street Fighter and he might care if you give it away to Goodwill.

4. Display cases and frames are your best friend! Whenever possible place collectables out of reach of elbows (or large purses, my purse has claimed a few pieces).

5. If it comes in packaging that looks nice, then use it as a display piece! Just keep in mind number 2.

I hope this helps. I know it's brief and not very specific, but every gamer (and every set of collectables) is different. If you have a solution that's worked for you, or a story of woe that you'd like to share, feel free to comment!

Gamer Speak: General Terms/Shorthand

As anyone who spends any decent amount of time with a gamer knows, Gamers have their own language and they don't just use it during play. Long after the game has been saved and the control put down, a Gamer is likely to use any gamer-term they want. Here are a few of the more common ones so that you can be ready when your Gamer tosses them out!

FTW

Grenades FTW!

FTW stands for “For the Win.” This can be used to exclaim a liking of almost anything. For example: Puppies FTW! Fabric Softener FTW! Tomatoes FTW!

GG

GG with the laser beam.

GG stands for “good game” or “good going.” It can be used as a compliment or in a sarcastic tone when pointing out a mistake or stupid move.

Grinding

I spent all day grinding and I only gained two levels!

Grinding is the process of working towards a higher level. Grinding often requires performing mundane or repetitive tasks to gain experience.

HP

My HP is too low to start a fight.

HP measures a creature or player’s health points. When a person is out of health points they are dead.

Leet or 1337

My elf is a level 70 leet. Or He’s a leet dancer.

Leet is short for elite. When you type 1337 into an older basic calculator and turn the screen upside down it will look like the letters l-e-e-t. Being elite can be due to the classification in a game (The elf reference about refers specifically to World of Warcraft.) or to having a significant amount of skill in a particular area.

Manna

After that fight, I’m in desperate need of manna.

Manna is what allows a player to cast spells. Spells can be used to attack, defend, or heal.

Note: There is also a new energy drink marketed to gamers called "Manna."

MMORPG

World of Warcraft is a very popular MMORPG.

MMORPG stands for Massively Multiplayer Online Role-playing Game. These are games that are played by a large number of people over an Internet connection during which players play as if they are a certain character.

Noob

Adam is such a noob, he didn’t know what pwn meant!

Noob is short for newbie. However, it is more often used to refer to someone who is considered to not be very cool or who has an exceptional lack in skill.

Pwn, Pwning, Pwned

He got pwned when playing “Star Fox” last night.

This evolved from the tendency of many online gamers to type quickly but not accurately often without proofreading. Pwn is the mistype of own. To own someone is to beat them rather significantly in some form of competition. One could also use Pwn to refer to life events.

XP

I’m 1,500 XP from the next level.

XP is short for experience points. In Warcraft, a player gains XP by killing certain creatures or completing quests. As the player gains XP they gain levels.

~~Some of these terms are copied from the WoW Gamer Speak article just as a refresher. You can find the entire WoW Gamer Speak here.

Starter Game: My Life as a King (Wii Downloadable)

From the makers of Final Fantasy comes My Life as a King. In this game, you are the child king of a small kingdom. This game leads the others due to the simplicity of the game play and the fact that it is just so gosh darn adorable!

As the child king, you create behests and select people to fulfill them. These behests include fighting monsters in the near-by villages, exploring and gathering crystals to be used in the building up of the kingdom, and doing various other tasks to improve the kingdom.

This is a great game to learn about leveling and skills. As you send soldiers out on behests they gain experience. As the gain experience they gain levels and special perks. You can also build buildings that will allow you to train your people in special skill areas, such as black and white mages.

If your boy plays a lot of Final Fantasy, there will be some aspects that will look quite familiar. In particular, the game includes moogles, which are small creatures and in this game they help you learn different aspects of the game controls. This would also be a great game to help you place Final Fantasy terms.

The game play may take a few minutes to get used to, but once you get the hang of it, it is really simple. The game is a lot of fun. It’s very whimsical and you get to develop your kingdom and meet all the inhabitants. I will warn you that the last boss battle takes forever! In fact, I’m not sure if I even finished it… I think I did… Maybe I should go check on that…